■家庭的无限乐趣
Happiness and Fun in Family

STORY 1＜＜＜Rejuvenation Pill

The old age had crept[25] in on Mrs. Daly. Aches and pain bothered her day and night. One day, she received a package with some pills and a letter from her son. The letter said, “Dear Mom, I am sending you some wonder drug called rejuvenation[26] pills. It will make you well and years younger.”

A few months later, the son came home. Sitting on the porch was a beautiful young lady rocking a cradle with a baby in it sucking the bottle.

“Where is my mother?” the son asked.

“Don’t be silly. I am your mother. Those pills were marvelous[27].”

“Imagine, with one pill, you’re as beautiful as anyone can be. Once more, you could have a baby. My, they are powerful.”

“That’s not a baby. That’s your father. He took two.”

经典谚语

A single flower does not make a spring.

一花独放不是春，百花齐放春满园。

故事1＜＜＜返老还童丸

戴利夫人渐渐上了年纪，病痛夜以继日地折磨着她。一天，她收到儿子的一封信，随信寄来的还有一个包裹，里面装着一些药丸。信上写着：“亲爱的妈妈，我给你寄了一些神奇的药丸，是返老还童丸。这些药丸能让你身体健康、重返青春。”

几个月过后，儿子回到家，看到门廊上坐着一位美丽的年轻女士在摇着摇篮，摇篮里躺着一个吸着奶瓶的婴儿。

他问道：“我妈妈呢？”

“傻孩子，我就是你妈妈。那药丸真是太不可思议了。”

“让我想想，才吃了一片，你就变得如此美丽，并且还能再次怀上小孩。我的天哪，这药真的有效。”

“这不是小孩，是你爸爸。他吃了两片。”

STORY 2＜＜＜He Brews

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew[28] the coffee each morning.

The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.”

The husband said, “You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.”

Wife replied, “No, you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”

Husband said, “I can’t believe that, show me.”

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says: “HEBREWS[29]”.

STORY 3＜＜＜A Girl Just Like Your Mother

No matter which girls he brought home, the young man found disapproval[30] from his mother. A friend gave him advice.

“Find a girl just like your mother, then, she’s sure to like her.”

So the young man searched and searched, and finally found the girl. He told his friendly adviser, “Just like you said, I found a girl who looked, talked, dressed, and even cooked like mother, and just as you said, mother liked her.”

“So,” asked the friend, “what happened?”

“Nothing,” said the young man.“My father hates her!”

故事2＜＜＜他煮

一对夫妻正在争论每天早上到底应该谁煮咖啡的问题。

妻子说：“应该你煮，因为每天早上你起得比较早，这样我们就不用为了喝咖啡总是等很久。”

丈夫说：“你每天要负责做饭的，所以应该你来煮，这是你的职责，而我只需要等着咖啡煮好。”

妻子回答道：“不不不，你才应该煮呢，连《圣经》上都写着男人应该煮咖啡啊。”

丈夫说道：“我才不信呢，让我看看哪里写了？”

于是，妻子取来了《圣经》，翻开《新约》，递给他丈夫——页面的顶端确实写着：“他煮”。

故事3＜＜＜像你妈妈一样的女孩

从前有一个年轻人，他发现不管自己带什么样的女孩回家，他妈妈总是反对他们交往。于是，他的一个朋友便给他出了主意。

“你找一个像你妈妈一样的女孩不就行了，你妈妈一定会喜欢她。”

于是这个年轻人找啊找，终于找到了这样一个女孩。他告诉那位朋友：“就像你说的，我找到了一位言谈举止、穿着打扮，甚至连做的饭都很像我妈妈的女孩，我妈妈也很喜欢她。”

“嗯，然后呢？”他朋友问道。

“还是没戏，”年轻人回答道，“我爸爸讨厌她！”

STORY 4＜＜＜Contented Marriage Life

A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, “My wife makes all the small decisions,” he explained, “and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere[31] in each other’s business and never get annoyed with[32] each other. We have no complaints and no arguments.”

“That sounds reasonable,” answered his friend sympathetically[33].“And what sort of decisions does your wife make?”

“Well,” answered the man, “she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in, what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays, and things like that.”

His friend was surprised.“Oh?” he said.“And what do you consider important decisions then?”

“Well,” answered the man, “I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increase our help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom[34] bomb, and things like that.”

故事4＜＜＜惬意的婚姻生活

一个男人正在跟他的一位朋友讲述他的秘密：如何才能使婚姻生活变得和睦惬意。他解释道：“在家里我的妻子决定小事，而我决定大事，这样我们之间就不会互相干涉、让对方气恼，于是我们之间也就没有抱怨和争吵。”

“这听起来很公道，”他朋友赞同地回答道，“那你妻子平常决定什么样的事？”

“嗯，她一般决定我找什么工作，我们住什么样的房子，买什么家具，假期去哪里过，诸如此类的事。”他回答道。

他朋友吃了一惊：“噢？那你平时决定什么大事呢？”

“我啊，我一般决定谁来当首相，是否对贫穷国家增加援助力度，怎样处理原子弹问题之类的事。”