第19章 VARIETY PATTER.(3)

"HON the zither,"retorted the chairman,waxing mildly indignant;he meant zithern,but he called it a zither."A hinstrument well-known to anybody as 'as 'ad any learning."This sally was received with much favour,and a gentleman who claimed to be acquainted with the family history of the interrupter begged the chairman to excuse that ill-bred person on the ground that his mother used to get drunk with the twopence a week and never sent him to school.

Cheered by this breath of popularity,our little president endeavoured to complete his introduction of the Signorina.He again repeated that she was the world-renowned performer on the zithern;and,undeterred by the audible remark of a lady in the pit to the effect that she'd "never 'eard on 'er,"added:

"She will now,ladies and gentlemen,with your kind permission,give you examples of the--""Blow yer zither!"here cried out the gentleman who had started the agitation;"we want Joss Jessop."This was the signal for much cheering and shrill whistling,in the midst of which a wag with a piping voice suggested as a reason for the favourite's non-appearance that he bad not been paid his last week's salary.

A temporary lull occurred at this point;and the chairman,seizing the opportunity to complete his oft-impeded speech,suddenly remarked,"songs of the Sunny South";and immediately sat down and began hammering upon the table.

Then Signora Ballatino,clothed in the costume of the Sunny South,where clothes are less essential than in these colder climes,skipped airily forward,and was most ungallantly greeted with a storm of groans and hisses.Her beloved instrument was unfeelingly alluded to as a pie-dish,and she was advised to take it back and get the penny on it.The chairman,addressed by his Christian name of "Jimmee,"was told to lie down and let her sing him to sleep.Every time she attempted to start playing,shouts were raised for Joss.

At length the chairman,overcoming his evident disinclination to take any sort of hand whatever in the game,rose and gently hinted at the desirability of silence.The suggestion not meeting with any support,he proceeded to adopt sterner measures.He addressed himself personally to the ringleader of the rioters,the man who had first championed the cause of the absent Joss.This person was a brawny individual,who,judging from appearances,followed in his business hours the calling of a coalheaver."Yes,sir,"said the chairman,pointing a finger towards him,where he sat in the front row of the gallery;"you,sir,in the flannel shirt.I can see you.

Will you allow this lady to give her entertainment?""No,"answered he of the coalheaving profession,in stentorian tones.