第15章 Ways to Make People Like You(4)

She told me how lonely she was， having to work that day andnot being able to be with her family. She asked me whether Iwould have dinner with her. She brought two trays of food： slicedturkey， mashed a potatoes， cranberry sauce and ice cream fordessert. She talked to me and tried to calm my fears. Even though she was scheduled to go off duty at 4 P.M.， she stayed on her owntime until almost 11 P.M. She played games with me， talked to meand stayed with me until I finally fell asleep.

“Many Thanksgivings have come and gone since I was ten，but one never passes without me remembering that particularone and my feelings of frustration， fear， loneliness and thewarmth and tenderness of the stranger that somehow made it allbearable.”

If you want others to like you， if you want to develop realfriendships， if you want to help others at the same time as youhelp yourself， keep this principle in mind：PRINCIPLE 1：

Become genuinely interested in other people.

Chapter 5

A Simple Way to Make a Good First Impression

At a dinner party in New York， one of the guests， a womanwho had inherited money， was eager to make a pleasingimpression on everyone. She had squandered a modest fortuneon sables， diamonds and pearls. But she hadn’t done anythingwhatever about her face. It radiated sourness and selfishness. Shedidn’t realize what everyone knows： namely， that the expressionone wears on one’s face is far more important than the clothesone wears on one’s back.

Charles Schwab told me his smile had been worth a milliondollars. And he was probably understating the truth. ForSchwab’s personality， his charm， his ability to make peoplelike him， were almost wholly responsible for his extraordinarysuccess; and one of the most delightful factors in his personalitywas his captivating smile.

Actions speak louder than words， and a smile says， “I like you，You make me happy. I am glad to see you.”

That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see usthat they almost jump out of their skins. So， naturally， we are gladto see them.

A baby’s smile has the same effect.

An insincere grin? No. That doesn’t fool anybody. We know itis mechanical and we resent it. I am talking about a real smile， aheartwarming smile， a smile that comes from within， the kind ofsmile that will bring a good price in the marketplace.

The employment manager of a large New York departmentstore told me she would rather hire a sales clerk who hadn’t finished grade school， if he or she has a pleasant smile， than tohire a doctor of philosophy with a somber face.

The chairman of the board of directors of one of the largestrubber companies in the United States told me that， accordingto his observations， people rarely succeed at anything unlessthey have fun doing it. This industrial leader doesn’t put muchfaith in the old adage that hard work alone is the magic key thatwill unlock the door to our desires， “I have known people，” hesaid， “who succeeded because they had a rip-roaring good timeconducting their business. Later， I saw those people change as thefun became work. The business had grown dull， They lost all joyin it， and they failed.”

You must have a good time meeting people if you expect themto have a good time meeting you.

I have asked thousands of business people to smile at someoneevery hour of the day for a week and then come to class and talkabout the results. How did it work? Let’s see… Here is a letterfrom William B. Steinhardt， a New York stockbroker. His caseisn’t isolated. In fact， it is typical of hundreds of cases.

“I have been married for over eighteen years，” wrote Mr.

Steinhardt， “and in all that time I seldom smiled at my wife orspoke two dozen words to her from the time I got up until I wasready to leave for business. I was one of the worst grouches whoever walked down Broadway.

“When you asked me to make a talk about my experience withsmiles， I thought I would try it for a week. So the next morning，while combing my hair， I looked at my glum mug in the mirrorand said to myself， ‘Bill， you are going to wipe the scowl off thatsour puss of yours today. You are going to smile. And you aregoing to begin right now.’ As I sat down to breakfast， I greeted mywife with a ‘Good morning， my dear，’ and smiled as I said it.

“You warned me that she might be surprised. Well， youunderestimated her reaction. She was bewildered. She wasshocked. I told her that in the future she could expect this as aregular occurrence， and I kept it up every morning.

“This changed attitude of mine brought more happiness intoour home in the two months since I started than there was duringthe last year.

“As I leave for my office， I greet the elevator operator in theapartment house with a ‘Good morning’ and a smile， I greetthe doorman with a smile. I smile at the cashier in the subwaybooth when I ask for change. As I stand on the floor of the StockExchange， I smile at people who until recently never saw me smile.

“I soon found that everybody was smiling back at me， I treatthose who come to me with complaints or grievances in a cheerfulmanner， I smile as I listen to them and I find that adjustmentsare accomplished much easier. I find that smiles are bringing medollars， many dollars every day.

“I share my office with another broker. One of his clerks is alikable young chap， and I was so elated about the results I wasgetting that I told him recently about my new philosophy ofhuman relations. He then confessed that when I first came toshare my office with his firm he thought me a terrible grouch—

and only recently changed his mind. He said I was really humanwhen I smiled.

“I have also eliminated criticism from my system. I giveappreciation and praise now instead of condemnation. I havestopped talking about what I want. I am now trying to seethe other person’s viewpoint. And these things have literallyrevolutionized my life. I am a totally different man， a happierman， a richer man， richer in friendships and happiness—the onlythings that matter much after all.”