第10章 有一种温暖从未离开

Never stop smiling,not even when you are sad,someone might fall in love with your smile.A smile is the most charming part of a person forever.

永远都不要停止微笑，即使是在你难过的时候，说不定有人会爱上你的笑容。微笑永远是一个人身上最好看的东西。

Ogden Nash to His Daughter　奥格登·纳什致女儿

February 6,1939

My sweet girls,

I wish so that you were here with us.The next time we must surely bring you along,so remember to practice your manners and learn to eat all sorts of food.Paris is full of children.There are lots of parks,and every park is full of boys and girls on bicycles and roller skates,or playing football and other games all day long.Also,I think everybody in Paris has a dog,but none of them are as pretty as Spangle.A beautiful river,the Seine,runs right through the middle of the city,and Mummy and I have already counted 22 bridges that cross it.Don't you think that you could have fun here?The French children are very polite,as everyone is in France,and I am sure you would enjoy playing with them;so,Linell,you must pay great attention to your French teacher and learn very fast,in order to be able to understand well when you come here.You might teach Isable some of what you learn,too.

There are many,many interesting things to see here.Paris is a very old city,and today Mummy and I saw a beautiful building,that was started by the Romans more than 1600 years ago.It is called Cluny.We have also been to the Louvre,a museum now full of the most beautiful paintings and statues.But years ago,the kings and queens of France used to live there,until the French people got angry with them and chopped off their heads.

This afternoon we went to a beautiful cathedral on an island in the middle of the river.It is called the Cathedral of the Dame,which means the cathedral of Our Lady the Virgin.It is more than 900 years old,and so high that you can hardly see the top.The windows are of gorgeous stained glass,red and blue and yellow and green and purple,so that they cast light like a rainbow on the walls.A very good king of France who lived 700 years ago and later became Saint Louis was buried(from)there.Tell Delia that we offered a candle to the Virgin Mary for each of you there,and that we are bringing her back a rosary from there also.Mummy and I climbed the tower later.We were very tired when we got to the top,but it was interesting.Some hideous stone gargoyles were looking right into our faces,so we looked down at Paris lying at our feet,and it was beautiful.We could see miles of river,and the bridges and the lovely old buildings.It is warmer here than at home,but sometimes the fogs so thick that even the taxi drivers get lost;last night three of them ran right off the street and into the fountains on the Rond Point on the Champs Elysees,which Boppy can tell you about.It must have been very damp and uncomfortable for the passengers.

I think you would like the French trains.We rode on one from Le Havre to Paris,just like the one that Gaston et Josephine took when they were leaving for America.When the engine whistles it says tweet instead of toot,and the porters are very polite.

Yon would like the boat,too.There is a little theatre where there are puppet shows for children every afternoon,and there is plenty of room to run and play on the decks.Sometimes,when the wind blows hard and the sea is rough,the boat joggles a little bit,but that is good fun,like being in as swing.On our trip there was a little girl only 14 years old who is already famous because she plays the violin so beautifully.Her name is Guila Bustabo,and she played for us one night,at the gala concert,where everybody gave money to help the old sailors.French sailors have very pink cheeks indeed,and speak very fast,and I don't think they ever get old.Really,so I am not sure who got the money.

I must tell you that whenever you walk along the banks of the Seine,you see dozens of old men fishing with long,1ong poles.I don't think they ever catch anything,but they have a lovely time thinking about what they might catch just supposing there were any fish there.We'll try it when you come here with us.Perhaps we'll catch the first fish ever to be caught there.

I adore you both,my darlings,

And don't forget me.

Daddy

我可爱的女孩们：我非常希望你们能与我们一起来这里。下次我们一定会把你们一起带上，所以你们要记住要多多练习礼仪并学会吃各种类型的食物。巴黎这里到处都是小孩，还有许多的公园，而且公园里整天都有许多小孩，男孩女孩都有，他们在这里骑自行车、滑旱冰，或者踢足球和玩其他游戏。还有，我认为巴黎的每个人都有一条狗，但没有一条狗能像斯潘格那样漂亮。这有一条美丽的河流，塞纳河，它正好从市中心穿过。妈咪和我已经数过了，河上有22座桥。难道你们不认为你们可以在这里玩得很开心吗？如每一个法国人一样，法国的孩子非常有礼貌，我保证你们会非常喜欢与他们一起玩耍；所以，利内尔，你必须注意听你法语教师的课，这样就可以学得很快，以便你来这里后能很好地理解法文。你也可以教伊莎贝尔一些你所学到的东西。这里有许许多多有趣的东西可以看。巴黎是一个非常古老的城市，今天妈咪和我去看了一栋非常美丽的建筑。它是1600多年前由罗马人开始建造的，它的名字叫做克卢尼。我们也去了卢浮宫这个装满最美丽的绘画和雕塑的博物馆。但是许多年以前，法国历代的国王和王后曾住在那里，直到法国人民愤怒起义，砍掉了他们的头。今天下午，我们去了位于河中央的岛上的一座美丽的教堂，它的名字叫做巴黎圣母院，意思是我们圣母玛利亚的教堂。它已有900多年的历史。教堂很高，几乎看不到顶。窗户是用绚丽的彩色玻璃做的，有红色、蓝色、黄色、绿色和紫色，所以玻璃把光投射到墙上就像彩虹一样。700年前，有一位非常好的法国国王，后来成为圣路易斯，他就埋在那儿。告诉迪莉娅，在那里，我们替你们每个人向圣母玛利亚献了一支蜡烛，并且我们从那里带回了一串念珠给她。后来，妈咪和我爬上了塔楼。当我们爬到塔顶时，我们累坏了，但这很有趣。一些可怕的石像魔鬼正眼对着我们，所以我们转而俯视脚下的巴黎，它十分美丽。我们能看到数英里长的河流、河上的桥以及可爱的古老建筑。这里的气候比家乡要暖和一些，但有时浓雾弥漫，就连出租车司机都会迷路。昨晚，三辆出租车开出街道，驶入了位于切普斯·艾利瑟斯街的街心喷泉池中，博普会告诉你们这件事。车上的乘客们身上一定湿透了，非常不舒服。我想你们会喜欢法国的火车的。我们坐上了一列从勒阿弗尔到巴黎的火车，这列火车与加斯顿和约瑟芬他们去美国时乘坐的火车很像。引擎发动的时候，汽笛发出“吱吱”的声音而不是“嘟嘟”声，而且乘务员非常有礼貌。你们也会喜欢船的。船上有一个小剧院，每天下午那里会上演木偶剧给孩子们看，而且甲板上有足够的空间给孩子们跑来跑去玩耍。有时候，风刮得很猛，海浪汹涌，船就会有些摇晃，但那很有趣，就像荡秋千一样。在我们的旅行中，有一个年仅14岁的小姑娘，她因为小提琴拉得很出色而出名，她的名字叫吉拉·布斯塔波。有一天晚上，在节日音乐会上，她为我们演奏，每个人都出了钱用以帮助那些老水手。事实上，法国水手们脸颊红润，说话很快，我不觉得他们会变老。真的，所以我无法肯定谁得到了那些钱。我必须告诉你们，无论什么时候，沿着塞纳河岸走，你都能看见许多的老人拿着很长很长的鱼杆在那钓鱼。我想他们什么也没有钓到，但是他们只要心中坚定信念，想着那儿有鱼，可能会钓到鱼，他们就过得很开心了。等你们到这儿和我们一起时，我们也去试一试。也许我们会在所有人当中，钓到这里的第一条鱼呢。我爱你们俩，亲爱的，不要忘记我。

爸爸

写于1939年2月6日

名人小课堂

奥格登·纳什（Ogden Nash,1902～1971）美国诗人。纳什的诗风非常独特，对20世纪的美国洞察深刻，评论精辟，被称为“稀有诗人”、“最滑稽的诗人”、“幽默语言大师”、“上帝赐与美国的礼物”等。代表作品有《自由旋转》、《享乐之路》及《1929年以来的诗歌》等。他的作品在全世界都具有很大的影响力。

Winston Churchill to His Daughter

(Mary Churchill)　温斯顿·丘吉尔致女儿

（玛丽·丘吉尔）

My darling Mary,

"Many Happy Returns of the Day."This should reach you on your Birthday the 15th.but if it comes earlier or later it carries with it the fondest love of your Father.I have watched with admiration and respect the career of distinction and duty what you have made for yourself during the hard years of the war.I look forward in the days that may be left me to see you happy and glorious in peace.You are a great joy to your mother and me and we are hoping that very soon you will be living with us at Chart well and in our new house in London.It will be lovely having you with us.

Here it is sunshine and calm.I paint all day and every day and have banished care and disillusionment to the shades.Alex came and painted too.He is very good.Monsieur Montag is coming to comment and guide me in a few days.I have three nice pictures so far,and am now off to seek for another.Sarah is writing you herself.

With all my affection

Your loving Father

Winston S.Churchill

亲爱的玛丽：“祝你生日快乐，年年有今日，岁岁有今朝！”这封信应该可以在15号你生日那天到达你手中，但不管它早到或迟到，都带着你父亲最深情的爱。我一直带着赞赏与尊重的目光看待你在艰苦的战争岁月中为自己所创立的非凡的业绩和承担的职责。在我有生之年，我期待看到你在和平的日子过得幸福辉煌。你是你母亲与我的巨大快乐，我们盼望着很快你就能和我们在查特维尔庄园和伦敦的新居共同生活。有你同我们在一起一定会很好。这里阳光灿烂，一片宁静。我整天作画，每天如此，这让我消除了烦恼，也对阴暗的事物也浮想联翩。亚历克斯也到这里来画画，他人很好。蒙塔格先生过几天会来给我点评与指导。到目前为止，我已完成了三幅好画。现在我开始为另一幅作品寻找题材。此时，萨拉正在亲自给你写信。给你我全部的情感

爱你的父亲温斯顿·S·丘吉尔

Ernest Hemingway to His Daughter

(Mary Hemingway)　欧内斯特·海明威致女儿

（玛丽·海明威）

Torcello,20 November1948

Dearest Kittner,

Been working hard and missing you harder.No mails today at all.I wrote you day before yesterday and forwarded a letter from your family to the Excelsior in Firenze today.Now writing you just at sun-set.Been beautiful fall weather ever since the day you left.I went shooting with Emilio and shot 25 small birds and we might have gotten two ducks as four flashed over us very low but were eating lunch when it happened.Might have missed them too.

Have my correspondence all done except for letter to Rice.Then will do the article.May do the article and then Rice since will have to go into Venice to get Power of Attorney notarized.Wrote Charley Ritz too.

There is a big duck shoot either tomorrow(Sunday)a.m.or else Monday.Emilio is going to let me know tonight.Hope it's Monday as my shoulder is sore from those high,straight up and down shots.I think those are probably quite heavy loads of the light shot.Can really shoot that over and under now.Haven't started learning the double yet.

Believe magazines etc.held up by the dock strike.They say over 50 000 sacks of mail on the docks in NY.But you read the papers too so won't Kalten born the news to you.

Your last pictures(the tower etc.)came out excellently.Got them last night.

No more word from Childies.

Hope your news was good.

I've been trying to stay awake and read until midnight or one a.m.

No local news.Mooky's foot got ok.Ate outdoors in the sun today and he kept his head in my lap all through lunch;clams,sole,white rice plain.Bobby the other dog,Crazy's brother,can sit up to beg and also make a how do you do and a Fancy Meeting You.

There's nobody living here now.Today three couples for lunch though a character who was either a fairy or a cinema star or both with reconditioned woman(fenders straightened,bad paint job),a sort of Brusadelli type with woman to match and a brace of Belgiums.I can now tell the travelling Belgium as far as can smell them.

Best to all your friends.Love to my kitten.Be good and have good fun.It's dark now and the shooting has started.Been trying to think what a Belgium smells like(the post-war travelling Belgiums)think it is a blend of traitorous King,toe jam,un-washed navels,old bicycle saddles,(sweated)paving stones,and eminently sound money with a touch of leek soup and cooking parsnips.

I love you dearest Kittner and miss you very,very very very,very,very much.

Papa

最亲爱的基特纳：我一直努力地工作着，而且更想你了。今天，我连一封邮件也没有收到。我前天给你写了封信，今天又从你的家转寄了一封到罗佛伦萨艾塞斯尔的信。现在是日落时分，我正在给你写信。自你离开的那天起，这里一直是秋高气爽、气候宜人。我和埃米利奥去打猎了，共捕获了25只小鸟。有四只野鸭从我们头上低低地飞过，但是当时我们正在吃午饭，要不我们有可能打到两只野鸭，也有可能一只也打不到。除了写给赖斯的信之外，我已处理完我所有的信件。接着我要开始写那篇文章。也许我会先写文章，再给赖斯写信，因为我一会得去威尼斯办理授权书证明。我也给查理·里兹写了一封信。明天（星期天）上午或者星期一，我们将有一场野鸭大猎杀。埃米利奥今晚会让我知道确切的时间。我希望星期一去，由于我的肩膀因向高处射击，重复地直直抬起和放下猎枪而感到酸痛。我想那可能是负荷太重。我现在已经能真正地掌握立式猎枪射击的技巧了。我还没有开始学双管枪射击。相信杂志之类的东西已经因为码头工人罢工而受阻。他们说有5万多麻布袋的邮件滞留在纽约码头。但你也看过这些报道，所以我不用再把这些消息详细转告给你。你最新的摄影作品（塔之类）照得非常好。我昨晚收到它们的。没有奇尔狄斯的消息。希望你的消息都是好的。我一直在努力保持清醒，看书看到午夜或凌晨1点。没有当地的消息。穆基的脚已经好了。我今天在户外的阳光下吃午饭，那只米白色的小狗一直把头放在我的膝盖上。它静静地独自待着。另一只小狗博比，即克雷兹的兄弟，能坐起来讨好，也会做“你好”和“见到你真高兴”等动作。现在已经没有别的人住在这儿了。不过今天有三对夫妇在这儿吃午饭：一个像童话里的人物，或像电影明星，或许两者都是，他带着一个打扮过的女人（后背挺得直直的，浓妆艳抹），一个像布鲁斯代尔类型的男人带着一个女人，还有一对比利时夫妇。只要闻一下，我就知道他们从比利时来旅游的。向你所有的朋友问好。我爱你，我的小猫咪。祝你身体健康、生活愉快。现在，天已经黑了，外面的枪声已经响起。我一直在努力回想比利时人闻起来像什么（战后的比利时旅行者），我想它是一种混合味，融合了叛变的国王、拥挤的脚趾、没有洗的肚脐、破旧自行车的座板、（浸着汗）铺路的石子、大量钱财，以及一点儿韭葱汤和烹调用的欧洲防风草的味道。我爱你，最亲爱的基特纳，我非常非常，非常非常，非常非常想念你。

爸爸

写于托切罗1948年11月20日

Eugene O'Neill to His Son

尤金·奥尼尔致儿子

June 20th 1936

Dear Eugene,

It was good to get your letter.I would have written you,only you said in your wire you were writing,so I waited to learn all the details of your good news.And it sure is good news!But,as I wired you,I was by no means astonished,or anything like that,that you had done so nobly,for your somber premonitions had not impressed me as being liable to coincide with the facts when they appeared.I know such dreary forebodings too damned well.They are the familiar spirits of this branch of the O'Neills—one of the baneful heritages you get from me,I'm afraid.I've been enjoying more than my usual share of them lately,too,what with this Cycle of plays stretching out into a future of seemingly endless hard labor.It looks now as if there would have to be still another play—a ninth which will carry me back to 1770 as a starter.

What you write about the exams is damned interesting and I am glad you told me so much about the oral.Of course,I knew there was one,but had no idea it was such a formidable inquisition.I can imagine how you felt when you paced the hall waiting for the verdict!

As for the job,from what you tell me,that assuredly is a grand bit of good fortune!And the salary is more than I ever thought you would get to start with.

Speaking of money,you know,I hope that if ever you get in a tough spot I can always manage to come across with something,although,as you may guess,the next couple of years will be lean ones unless that rarity for me,a movie rights purchase,comes up.I want to tell you frankly what my exact situation is.Whatever income I have from investments is more than abolished by the alimony dole.That means that as far as my half of Carlotta's and my household expenses,etc.is concerned I am living on capital and will be for the next two years or more,for I do not expect to be able to release any new play for production or publication before then.Royalties on books bring in something but comparatively little.Stock,amateur performances'royalties don't amount to much because my plays are difficult to cast and seldom attempted.Foreign productions continue to be flatteringly constant—but are done in repertoire for a few performances at a time,and with half to a translator,tax,etc.the return to me in dollars is negligible,or less.I had hoped something from the London production of Ah,Wilderness!by the Irish Group Theatre,but in spite of a unanimously enthusiastic critical reception,no one is going to see it and it has possibly closed by this.

So that's about the situation—and it is due to grow steadily worse instead of better,pending the appearance of my new work.I tell you all this not to cry poor,you understand,but to present the hard facts.

I am determined,if I go broke in the process,not to release any play of the Cycle until I have at least three or four in final form,and more in first draft.This is essential to me because the emphasis with me is naturally on the work as a whole,not on its separate parts.It is also essential for the stage production of the work as a whole that the Guild have several plays to plan on as a starter—for they intend to get together a special repertoire company just to do this Cycle,and when it comes to tying up actors and actresses for three or four years,in these days of Talkie temptation,you've got to show them parts in several plays that make it to their advantage to sign up.You can't do it on one or two plays with a vague promise of good parts in plays not yet written,no matter who the author.The plan,as I guess I've told you before,is to do two plays a season.

So you see how this Cycle has me involved in a hell of a lot of labor—and costly time—before I can expect any returns of any kind.You will also appreciate that I have many low days of O'Neill heebie-jeebies when I feel very old and tired,and doubt myself and my work,and wonder why in hell something in me drove me on to undertake such a hellish job when I might have coasted along and just written some more plays,as a well-behaved playwright does.

But enough of that.

I foresaw that you would probably get some tart retorts from the Middle West on your article.Midwesterners are very sensitive people—that is,in one respect.

Love to you and Betty from us—and a sweet kiss from Blemie to Cabot.

Father

亲爱的尤金：很高兴收到你的来信。我本该已经给你写完信的，只是你在电话里说你正写信给我，所以我就等着了解你的好消息的所有细节。这确实是好消息！但是，当我从电话中得知你干得如此出色时，我并不感到惊讶或者任何类似那样的感觉。我并未在意你的不祥预感，因为当事实发生的时候，它们是很容易与之相一致的。我对那些可恶的不祥预感了如指掌。那是我们这支奥尼尔家族成员常见的情绪——恐怕这是你从我这里继承的有害遗传因子之一。我近期也一直遇到这种情况，而且比以前还要糟。因为，这部系列剧越往后面发展，这烦人的工作似乎越没完没了。现在看起来好像还得接下去写另一部剧本——第九部剧本，这部剧本一开始将要把我带回至1770年。你在信里所讲的关于考试的事情相当有趣，我很高兴你如此详尽地告诉我关于口试的情况。当然，我知道有口试这回事，但并没想到它竟是一种如此可怕的询问。我可以想象得到当时你在大厅中走来走去，等待结论时是怎样的感觉。说到工作，从你告诉我的内容来看，那无疑是一个很好的运气！而且薪水比我曾经设想过的你一开始能拿到的要高一些。说到钱，你知道的，我希望假如你真的遇到什么困难时，我总是可以尽力提供帮助——尽管你也可能猜到，今后的两三年里我会比较拮据，除非有人想要购买我的电影版权，不过这种事很罕见。我想坦率地告诉你我的实际情况。无论我的投资能获得多少收益，都不够赡养费这一项开支。那意味着就我所承担的夏洛特一半的赡养费以及家庭的各项开支等而言，我现在是在吃老本，而且今后两年或更长的时间内也将如此，因为，在那之前，我不期望我的任何一个新剧本可以上演或出版。书的版税能带来些许收入，但相当少。股票、业余演出的使用费也非常有限，因为我的剧本上演的难度很大，而且很少有人尝试。在国外，我的剧本倒是经常继续在上演，颇受追捧——但演出的是保留剧目，一次演几场。一半的收入用于支付译者稿酬、交税等，最后以美元返回给我的钱是微不足道的，或者更少。我原本寄希望于爱尔兰群体剧团在伦敦上演的《啊，荒野！》会给我带来收益，但是尽管该剧引起广泛而热烈的评论反应，却没有一个人去看，这样的话，演出可能已经终止了。这就是我的实际情况——而且在等待我的新作品问世期间，这情形会逐步地恶化，而不是好转。你明白的，我告诉你这一切并不是哭穷，而是向你陈述困难的事实。假如在这个过程中我破产了，我也决不会将这个剧本系列中的任何一本发布出来，除非这个系列我至少有三四部剧本已经定稿了，其他的剧本已经有了初稿。对我来说，这是必要的，因为，我所重视的当然是这项工作作为一个整体，而不是它的各个部分，这对于将整个系列剧在舞台上的演出也一样必要。盖尔德剧团已经计划上演好几部戏作为事业的开始，因为他们为了演出这个系列剧而打算组织一个专门的戏剧团。而且，男女演员的选定也要花上三四年时间。在如今有声电影对演员造成巨大诱惑的情况下，你得拿出几部剧本里的某些片段给他们看看，这样才会有利于他们签协议。要是只依靠一两个剧本，含糊地承诺剧本里还未写好的精彩内容，那么，不论作者是谁，你都不会获得成功。如我猜想我之前告诉过你的，我的计划是每个季度写两个剧本。因此，你瞧，在我可以期待得到任何回报之前，这个系列剧已经使我陷入了无穷无尽的工作之中，还要花费大量的时间。你也将会理解，我度过了许多奥尼尔家族特有的那种紧张兮兮的日子。我觉得自己老了，也累了，开始怀疑自己以及自己的工作。而且我想知道，究竟为什么我内心中的某种东西会一直驱使我去承担这样一件可怕的工作。我本可以随意地向前生活下去，像一些举止大方的剧作家那样，只是多写一些剧本。嗯，说得够多了。我已经预见你的文章很可能会在中西部受到一些尖酸的反驳。中西部的人非常敏感——在某一方面是如此。献上我们的爱给你和贝蒂，以及来自布莱米的一个甜甜的吻带给卡伯特。

爸爸

1936年6月20日

名人小课堂

尤金·奥尼尔（Eugene O'Neill,1888～1953年）美国著名剧作家。他是一位多产作家，一生创作独幕剧21部，多幕剧28部。其中优秀剧作有：《东航卡迪夫》、《加勒比斯之月》、《天边外》、《安娜·克利斯蒂》、《琼斯皇帝》等。1936年凭借代表作《天边外》获诺贝尔文学奖。

John O'hara to His Daughter

(Wylie O'hara)　约翰·奥哈拉致女儿

（威利·奥哈拉）

Princeton

7th January1962,Sunday

My dear,

I have been thinking about our conversation of last night,and I hope you have too.

1962,in some ways,is Wylie O'hara's Year of Decision.Some of the decisions you make this year will have an important bearing on decisions you may want to make several years hence.

For example:suppose that when you are 20 or 21,you should discover that you want to participate in one of the many activities that will be open to young people in the federal or state government.The first thing they will want to know is what education and/or training you have had.Nowadays the minimum,absolute minimum requirement for hundreds of jobs is two years'college,either at a four-year-college or at a junior college.

For another example:you have said that you don't expect to marry before you are 23.Well,that is something you can't be sure of,but suppose you do wait till you're 23.Suppose your fianc¨-husband is a young man who is taking graduate work at some university—law,medicine,the sciences,government work,etc.—and you and he are living in the vicinity of his graduate school.You may want to do work on the college or the graduate school level yourself,but I assure you will not be very enthusiastic about it if you have to start as a freshman of 23.

Now I could go on at some length,but the point I am aiming at it this:I want you to think very,very seriously about what you are going to do after St.Tim's.You are not Miss Rich bitch.You are not going to be Miss Church mouse,either,but you must think in terms of being able to earn at least part of your own living.I don't think you are going to fall in love with a dumb head.I think a dumb head,rich or not,would bore the hell out of you.Therefore it is extremely likely that the kind of boy you will like and fall in love with is going to be one who uses his brains to earn his living.That almost automatically means that he will be taking either graduate work or special post-college training of some sort.And even if you have children right away,you will want to keep up with him intellectually.

I can tell you from my own experience how important it is to have a wife with whom to discuss one's work.My first wife was a Wellesley B.A.and a Columbia M.A.and a diplomat,I think they are called,at the Sorbonne.Your mother did not go to college,but she could have.Sister and your mother both graduated from good schools and took courses at Columbia and your mother even attended lectures at Oxford without having to enroll there.Both your mother and Sister loved to read and read a great deal,and Sister is multilingual.Both your mother and Sister disliked women's colleges,but they did not dislike higher learning.They formed their dislike of college-girl types thirty years ago.The type has almost vanished,because the kind of girl your mother and Sister were then would be applying for college today.Everybody goes to college.

Now this is what's on my mind:the tentative program you have outlined for yourself does not seem to me very"realistic"in 1962 and 1963 and so on.I am hopeful that you will redirect yourself toward a good college so that you will get those two minimum-requirement years on your record and then be able,three years from now,to qualify for jobs or continue working for a degree.You will not regret having those two years on your record,whereas you might easily regret not having them.As your father,I have a duty to point these things out to you.But once I have done that I have to leave the real decision up to you.

Love,

Dad

我亲爱的：我一直在思考我们昨晚的谈话，而且我希望你也如此。1962年，在某种程度上，是对威利·奥哈拉具有决定性的一年。你今年所做的某些决定将会对你今后几年可能想要做出的决定起到至关重要的作用。譬如：假设当你20岁或21岁时，你会发现你想参加联邦政府或州政府为年轻人举办的某项活动。他们想要知道的第一件事就是你曾受过何种教育和/或培训。如今，对各行各业最低的，绝对最低的要求是两年的大学教育，要么在四年制大学里学习，要么在两年制大学里学习。再譬如：你说过你不想在23岁以前结婚。好吧，那是你无法确定的事，但假设你的确等到23岁。假设你的未婚夫是个在某所大学里读研究生的年轻人，他学的可能是法律、医学、理科、行政管理等等。你和他住在他攻读研究生的学校附近。你也许会希望你自己也上大学或读研究生。但我肯定，如果你不得不以一个23岁的新生身份开始，你将没有热情去学习。现在我可以继续往下多说一些了，但我说这些的目的是：我希望你非常非常认真地思考从圣·蒂姆斯中学毕业后你将要做什么这一问题。你现在不是富家千金。你将来也不会是一贫如洗的姑娘，但你必须考虑你怎样才能起码挣到你自己的部分生活费。我想你不会爱上一个笨蛋。我认为，一个笨蛋，不管贫富与否，他都会让你极其厌烦的。因此，你将来喜欢或爱上的男孩极有可能是那种用自己的头脑来谋生的人。那自然而然地意味着，他将会读研究生或是接受大学毕业后的某种培训。此外，即使你想立即生孩子，你也会希望你们的孩子在才智方面能赶得上他。我可以用我自己的经历告诉你，有一个能与自己讨论工作的妻子有多么重要。我的第一任妻子是威尔斯利大学的学士和哥伦比亚大学的硕士。我想，在索尔邦他们这些人被称为有文凭的人。你母亲没有上过大学，但她有能力上的。西斯特和你母亲都毕业于好的中学，并且在哥伦比亚大学修过课，而且你母亲甚至在不必注册的情况下，在牛津大学听过课。你母亲和西斯特都热爱读书，也读过大量的书，而且西斯特会说多种语言。你母亲和西斯特都不喜欢女子大学，但她们并非不喜欢高等教育。她们对女大学生类型的不喜欢在三十年之前就成型了。这种类型现在已基本消失了，因为像当年你母亲和西斯特那样的女孩，如今都在申请读大学。每个人都去上大学。现在我所考虑的是：你为自己所制定的暂时计划，在我看来这在1962年或1963年或其他时候似乎都是不太现实的。我希望，你能重新为自己规划一下，去读一所好的大学，这样在你的履历上就会有受过两年大学教育的这一最低要求，三年之后，你就有资格找工作或继续学习并获得学位。你不会因为在你的履历上有这两年学习经历而后悔的；反而，你也许极易因为没有它们而懊悔。作为你的父亲，我有责任向你指明这些事情。但是，一旦我为你指明了这一切，我必须把真正的决定权留给你自己。

爱你的：爸爸

1962年1月7日星期日写于普林斯顿

名人小课堂

约翰·奥哈拉（John O'hara,1905～1970年）美国作家。他出生于宾夕法尼亚州的波特斯维尔，凭借处女作《相约萨马拉》一举成名。除在杂志发表一些短篇小说外，他一生共写了14部长篇小说，代表作有《向怒而生》、《酒绿花红》及《北弗雷德里克街十号》等。其中《北弗雷德里克街十号》一书让他获得了美国国家图书奖。他的大部分小说以冷漠的且客观的笔触描写中上层阶级的道德观念和行为原则。

Francis Fitzgerald to His Daughter　弗朗西斯·菲茨杰拉德致女儿

Metro Goldwyn Mayer Corporation

Culver City,California

July 7,1938

Dearest Scottie,

I don't think I will be writing letters many more years and I wish you would read this letter twice—bitter as it may seem.You will reject it now,but at a later period some of it may come back to you as truth.When I'm talking to you,you think of me as an older person,an"authority";and when I speak of my own youth,what I say becomes unreal to you—for the young can't believe in the youth of their fathers.But perhaps this little bit will be understandable if I put it in writing.

When I was your age,I lived with a great dream.The dream grew and I learned how to speak of it and make people listen.Then the dream divided one day when I decided to marry your mother after all,even though I knew she was spoiled and meant no good to me.I was sorry immediately I had married her but,being patient in those days,made the best of it and got to love her in another way.You came along and for a long time we made quite a lot of happiness out of our lives.But I was a man divided—she wanted me to work too much for her and not enough for my dream.She realized too late that work was dignity,and the only dignity,and tried to atone for it by working herself,but it was too late and she broke and is broken forever.

It was too late also for me to recoup the damage—I had spent most of my resources,spirit and material,on her,but I struggled on for five years till my health collapsed,and all I cared about was drink and forgetting.

The mistake I made was marrying her.We belonged to different worlds—she might have been happy with a kind simple man in a southern garden.She didn't have the strength for the big stage—sometimes she pretended,and pretended beautifully,but she didn't have it.She was soft when she should have been hard,and hard when she should have been yielding.She never knew how to use her energy—she's passed that failing on to you.

For a long time I hated her mother for giving her nothing in the line of good habit—nothing but"getting by"and conceit.I never wanted to see again in this world women who were brought up as idlers.And one of my chief desires in life was to keep you from being that kind of person,one who brings ruin to themselves and others.When you began to show disturbing signs at about fourteen,I comforted myself with the idea that you were too precocious socially and a strict school would fix things.But sometimes I think that idlers seem to be a special class for whom nothing can be planned,plead as one will with them—their only contribution to the human family is to warm a seat at the common table.

My reforming days are over,and if you are that way I don't want to change you.But I don't want to be upset by idlers inside my family or out.I want my energies and my earnings for people who talk my language.

I have begun to fear that you don't.You don't realize that what I am doing here is the last tired effort of a man who once did something finer and better.There is not enough energy,or call it money,to carry anyone who is dead weight and I am angry and resentful in my soul when I feel that I am doing this.People like—and your mother must be carried because their illness makes them useless.But it is a different story that you have spent two years doing no useful work at all,improving neither your body nor your mind,but only writing reams and reams of dreary letters to dreary people,with no possible object except obtaining invitations which you could not accept.Those letters go on,even in your sleep,so that I know your whole trip now is one long waiting for the post.It is like an old gossip that cannot still her tongue.

You have reached the age when one is of interest to an adult only insofar as one seems to have a future.The mind of a little child is fascinating,for it looks on old things with new eyes—but at about twelve this change.The adolescent offers nothing,can do nothing,say nothing that the adult cannot do better.Living with you in Baltimore(and you have told Harold that I alternated between strictness and neglect,by which I suppose you mean the times I was so inconsiderate as to have T.B.o or to retire into myself to write,for I had little social life apart from you)represented a rather too domestic duty forced on me by your mother's illness.But I endured your Top Hats and Telephones until the day you snubbed me at dancing school,less willingly after that...

To sum up:what you have done to please me or make me proud is practically negligible since the time you made yourself a good diver at camp(and now you are softer than you have ever been).In your career as a"wild society girl",vintage of 1925,I'm not interested.I don't want any of it—it would bore me,like dining with the Ritz Brothers.When I do not feel you are"going somewhere",your company tends to depress me for the silly waste and triviality involved.On the other hand,when occasionally I see signs of life and intention in you,there is no company in the world I prefer.For there is no doubt that you have something in your belly,some real gusto for life—a real dream of your own—and my idea was to wed it to something solid before it was too late—as it was too late for your mother to learn anything when she got around to it.Once when you spoke French as a child it was enchanting with your odd bits of knowledge—now your conversation is as commonplace as if you'd spent the last two years in the Corn Hollow High School—what you saw in Life and read in Sexy Romances.

I shall come East in September to meet your boat—but this letter is a declaration that I am no longer interested in your promissory notes but only in what I see.I love you always but I am only interested by people who think and work as I do and it isn't likely that I shall change at my age.Whether you will—or want to—remains to be seen.

Daddy

P.S.If you keep the diary,please don't let it be the dry stuff I could buy in a ten franc guide book.I'm not interested in dates and places,even the Battle of New Orleans,unless you have some unusual reaction to them.Don't try to be witty in the writing,unless it's natural—just true and real.

P.P.S.Will you please read this letter a second time?I wrote it over twice.

亲爱的司各特：我觉得我也没多少岁月可以给你写信了，我希望你能把这封信读上两遍——虽然这看上去比较痛苦。或许，你现在会抵制它，但是不久之后，信里的某些内容将成为你的真理。当我在跟你说这些的时候，你觉得我已是一个老人，是个“专横”的人；当我向你讲述我自己年轻时的经历，我所说的一切对你来说是不真实的——因为年轻人总是不相信父辈们年轻时候的事情。但是，如果我能把它写下来的话，你也许会好理解一点。当我像你那么大的时候，我有一个伟大的梦想。梦想在成长，我也学会了如何去阐述它，让别人聆听它。有一天，梦想破碎了，那就是当我最终决定和你妈妈结婚的时候，尽管我知道她从小娇生惯养，而且对我也无好处。娶了她之后，我就立刻后悔了，但是那些日子我一直很耐心，尽量做到最好以维持我们的婚姻关系，通过另一种方式去爱她。随着你的到来，有很长一段时间，我们的生活充满了幸福。但我是一个分裂的人——她想要我为她做太多的工作，因而我没有足够的精力与时间去追求自己的梦想。当她意识到工作就是尊严，而且是唯一的尊严，一切都为时已晚了。她还试图通过自己的工作来弥补这些，但是已经太迟了，她的身体已经不行了，彻底地不行了。弥补所受的伤害，对我来说也为时已晚了——我已经将自己绝大部分的资源、精力和财富都倾注在她的身上了，但是我依旧奋斗了5年，直到我的身体也垮掉了，而现在我所关心的事情只有借酒消愁。我所犯的错误就是和她结婚。我与她属于不同的世界——假如她和南方的庄园里的一个善良单纯的男人结婚的话，她可能会过得很快乐。她没有适应大舞台的能力——有时她会假装有这个能力，而且装得很好，但事实上她并没有。在应该强硬的时候，她表现得软弱；在应该屈服的时候，她却表现得很强硬。她从来都不知道如何运用自己的力量——她已经把这些缺点都传给了你。有很长一段时间，我恨她的母亲没有教给她任何好的习惯——除了“得过且过”和狂妄自负。在这个世界上，我永远不想再见到任何一个女人被养育成一个游手好闲者。我生命中主要的心愿之一就是让你不要变成那种人，那种给自己和别人都带来毁灭的人。你14岁时开始显露出令人烦扰的迹象，那时我安慰自己说，你可能在社交方面早熟了一些，接受严格的学校教育将会解决这些问题。但是，有时我也这样想，那些游手好闲的人似乎是一个特殊的阶层，对他们来说，没有什么事情是可以被计划的，他们会以此为自己辩护——他们对于人类家庭惟一的贡献，就是占据一张普通桌子前的一个座位罢了。我重新自我调整的日子已经结束了，假如你选择那种游手好闲的生活方式，我也不想去改变你。但是，不管是在家里还是在外面，我都不想被游手好闲的人烦扰。我希望自己的精力和收入能花在那些与我有共同语言的人们身上。我开始担心你并没有意识到这些，没有意识到我在这里所做的一切，是一个曾经做出优秀业绩的人最后的疲倦的努力。我已经没有足够的精力，或者说足够的金钱来支持任何一个纯粹是沉重的负担的人。而当我感觉自己正在做这些的时候，我内心充满愤怒和怨恨。像你妈妈那样的人必须得到支持，因为他们的病痛致使他们无所作为。但是，你的事情就另当别论了：你已经度过了两年碌碌无为的生活，你既没有改进你的身体状况，也没有充实你的头脑知识，你惟一做的就是给那些沉闷的人们一封接一封地写沉闷的信件，除了收到一些你自己并不接受的邀请之外，你做这件事没有任何目的。甚至在睡觉的时候，那些信件都在继续。因此，我知道你现在的整个旅程就是一个等待邮件的漫长过程。它就像一个爱嚼舌的老妇无法令她的舌头安分下来一样。你已经到了这样的年龄：只有当你看起来有前途时，大人们才会对你产生兴趣。小孩子的心灵是迷人的，因为儿童用全新的眼睛看待旧的事物——但是大约12岁的时候，这种情形就改变了。青少年们提供不了任何东西，他们什么也不会做，什么也不会说，而成年人对那些事却可以做得更好。由于你母亲的病情，强加在我身上的一点家庭责任的体现就是要和你一起住在巴尔的摩。（你曾跟哈罗德说我对你的态度在严格和疏忽之间交替变化，据此我猜你的意思是指当年我因为过于轻率而感染了肺结核；或者是我只顾自己一心写作，因为除了你之外，我几乎没有任何社交活动）。但是，我对你戴大礼帽和打电话的行为，一直都忍耐，直到那天在舞蹈学校你冷落我，从那以后，我才稍微不乐意……总而言之，自从你在夏令营把自己训练成一个优秀的潜水员，之后（你现在已经比以前退步了不少），你所做的能让我高兴和自豪的事情事实上几乎可以忽略不计。你作为“野蛮社会女孩”的经历，那是在1925年，我一点儿也不感兴趣。我不想知道任何关于它的事情——它会令我心烦意乱，就像跟里兹兄弟共进晚餐一样。当我感觉不到你在进步的时候，你的陪伴存在令我有沮丧的倾向，因为那是愚蠢的浪费和琐事。从另一面来说，当我偶然看到你身上散发出生活的气息和向上的意志时，我在世界上将不再需要任何陪伴。因为毫无疑问，你身上依然存在某些东西，一种对于生活的真正热忱——一种属于你自己的真正的梦想——我的想法是在还来得及之前，把它跟一些可靠实在的事物捆绑在一起——因为当你妈妈开始考虑去学些什么的时候，却为时已晚了。当你还是个孩子时，你曾学过说法语，你对知识的零星掌握让人着迷——而现在你的谈话却非常平庸，似乎过去两年你是在考恩·霍洛高级中学度过的——就像你在《生活》和《性感传奇》中所看到的内容那样。9月份，我将到东部去接你——但是，这封信是一个声明：我将不再对你的许诺感兴趣，只对自己亲眼所见的感兴趣。我会一直爱你，但让我感兴趣的只是那些与我志同道合的人，而且到我这样的年纪，我也不可能做出什么样的改变。无论你是否愿意——或者是想要——拭目以待吧。爸爸又及：如果你还坚持写日记的话，请不要让你的日记成为干瘪瘪的东西，那些内容在我用10法郎就能买到的指南书里就有。我对日期、地名，甚至“新奥尔良战役”都不感兴趣，除非你对它们有一些与众不同的反应。写作时，不要试图追求措辞巧妙诙谐，除非是自然而然的——只需要准确真实。再及：你愿意把这封信再看一遍吗？这封信我写了不止两遍。

1938年7月7日

写于加利福尼亚州，科佛市米高梅电影公司

名人小课堂

弗朗西斯·菲茨杰拉德(Francis Fitzgerald,1896～1940)出生于明尼苏达州圣保罗市，美国小说家，著名的编剧，也是“爵士时代”的发言人和“迷惘的一代”的代表作家之一。他的代表作品有《人间天堂》、《了不起的盖茨比》及《夜色温柔》等，他的小说生动地反映了20年代“美国梦”的破灭，展示了大萧条时期美国上层社会“荒原时代”的精神面貌。