第5章 忍耐的报答

Rice Pudding

佚名/Anonymous

希拉的制服上被洒了厚厚的一层晚饭，她怒气冲冲地走进了护士室。她向当晚的领班护士海伦发火道：“天哪！我实在不明白您是怎么做到的！斯沃博达太太刚刚又把盘子扔到我身上了。她情绪这么激动，我真不知道在睡前该怎么为她洗澡。为什么你在服侍她时，就不会碰到这些麻烦呢？”

海伦满怀同情地微笑着说：“刚开始，我也曾有过很多糟糕的夜晚。不过因为我来这里的时间比较长，自然，我也就认识她丈夫。”“哦，我听说过，是特洛伊吧。她每次暴躁不安时，我就只能听明白这个词。”

海伦迟疑了一下，说：“希拉，我明白，要让斯沃博达太太这样的人来配合你的工作，这的确很难。她刚来到这里时，情况还没有现在这么糟糕，但让人觉很非常棘手。她总是在一些鸡毛蒜皮的小事上找我的茬——比如，她的茶不够热，她的床整理得不够整洁等等。心情糟糕时，她还会指责我们所有人，说我们偷她的东西。我对她的忍耐已经达到了极限，直到有一天为她洗澡时，她丈夫碰巧在场。我像平常一样蓄势待发，准备与她进行‘战斗’，此时，他问我是否需要帮忙。我十分感激地说：‘当然。’因为她已经开始又踢又叫，好在我已经做好了安全约束措施。”

“然后我开始用最快的速度给她洗澡，心里盼望着能早一点结束。这时特洛伊把手放在我的胳膊上，让我先停下来。他请求道：‘请给她一点时间来适应水温。’接着他开始用俄语温柔地对她说话。不一会儿，她就安静了下来，看起来像是在听他讲话。他接过我手中的毛巾和肥皂，非常温柔地擦洗着她的双手。之后，又缓慢而细心地擦洗着她的手臂和肩膀，认真地擦拭着她满是皱纹并已变得灰黄的皮肤。他的每次触摸仿佛都是爱抚，每个动作仿佛都是许诺。不久，她闭上了眼睛，在温暖的水里显得很轻松。老人喃喃低语道，‘我美丽的娜佳，你多么漂亮啊。’令我惊讶的是，斯沃博达太太居然睁开双眼，低声答道，‘我英俊的特洛伊。’更令人诧异的是，她的眼里竟含着泪水！”

海伦长长地呼了口气，接着说：“那天下午，斯沃博达太太一直都很安静。她丈夫帮我给她穿衣服，并喂她吃午餐。她埋怨午餐不合胃口，还打翻了汤。斯沃博达先生耐心地清理完洒了的汤，并一直等到她发完脾气，恢复平静。之后他又慢慢地喂她把剩下的食物吃完，并陪她聊天，一直到她准备睡觉。我很担心这位老人，因为他看上去已经非常疲惫。这些事本都是我们应该做的，于是我问他为什么要坚持自己做。他转身面对着我，简单地说道：‘因为我爱她！’他又接着讲道，‘你不明白，我们结婚差不多49年了。你无法想象，我们当初在农场的生活是多么的艰苦。旱灾让我们的庄稼颗粒无收，也没有充足的牧场养牛。那时我们的孩子还小，而我甚至不知道我们是否能够熬过那个寒冷的冬天。那一年，我变得脾气暴躁，难以相处。然而，娜佳却一直忍受着我恶劣暴躁的脾气，也不烦扰我。但最终有一天我还是爆发了，当时一家人正在吃晚饭。娜佳做了我们最爱吃的米饭布丁。可我脑海里唯一能想到的就是她得用了多少的牛奶和糖啊！’”

“我一口也不想吃，猛地抓起我的碗，用力砸到墙上，然后冲出门，跑到谷仓里。我不清楚自己独自在那儿待了多长时间。但日落时，娜佳找到了我。她说：“特洛伊，你有麻烦，可你却并不孤单。我答应你，我会永远站在你身边，不管生活给我们带来多少艰难困苦，我都会和你一起面对。但倘若你不同意，那你就只能离开了。”尽管她满眼含泪，但语气却十分坚定。“无论何时，我们都会在这里等你，只要你愿意回到我们身边。”她轻吻我的脸颊，然后转身走回了屋子。”

“那晚我一直待在谷仓里。次日，我直接去了城里，准备在那里找一份工作。当然，我一无所获，但我还是继续在找。大约一周后，我决定放弃了。作为一个男人，一个庄稼汉，我觉得自己彻底地失败了！于是我动身回家，我不知道他们是否会欢迎我的归来，但除了家，我的确无处可去。当我走在回家的乡间小路上时，娜佳看到了我并飞快地从屋里冲了出来，朝我跑来，她的围裙带欢快地跳跃着。她张开双臂，紧紧地拥抱着我。我不禁哭了出来，像刚出生的婴儿一样紧紧地依偎着她。”

“在我人生最黑暗的时候，在我们生活最艰苦的时候，娜佳都能一直守候在我身边，那么，我现在能做的只有尽力来安慰她，让她回忆起我们曾经美好快乐的日子。每当一起吃米饭布丁时，我们总会微笑着看着彼此。而这也是现在她能想起的少数几件事情之一。”

说完，海伦默默地望着希拉。突然，希拉推开椅子，站起身来，将脸颊上滚落的泪水轻轻拭去，柔声地说道：“我休息好了。我也终于明白了，这位老太太为什么总想要其他的晚餐。”然后，她看着海伦，露出了笑容并说：“只要我诚心诚意地请求他们，我敢打赌厨房一定能很快地为她做一盘米饭布丁。”

Sheila stomped into the staff room， her uniform plastered with someone's dinner. "I don't know how you do it！" she fumed to Helen， the nurse supervising the evening shift. "Mrs.Svoboda just threw her tray at me again， and she's so agitated I don't know how l'll be able to clean her up before bed.Why don't you have so much trouble with her？"

Helen smiled sympathetically. "I've had my share of rough nights with her， too.But I've been here longer and， of course， I knew her husband." "Yeah， Troy.I've heard about him.It's about the only word I can understand when she gets going."

"Sheila，" Helen began hesitantly. "I know it's hard to work with people like Mrs.Svoboda.When Mrs.Svoboda was admitted she wasn't as bad as she is now， but she was still pretty spicy.She used to give me grief over the smallest things.Her tea wasn't hot enough， her bed wasn't made up right.On her bad days she'd accuse us all of stealing her things.I had no patience with her， until one day her husband happened to be there during bath time.I was gearing up for the usual fight with her when he asked if he could help. 'Sure.' I said gratefully.Good thing the safety restraints were on because she began kicking and screaming."

"I began washing her quickly， anxious to get it over with， when Troy laid his hand on my arm.'Give her a moment to get used to the water.'he asked.Then he began talking softly in Russian.After a few moments she became calm and seemed to listen to him.Very gently， he took the cloth and soap from me and washed each of her hands.Then slowly and carefully， he washed her arms and shoulders， working his way over the wrinkled， sallow skin.Each touch was a caress， each movement was a promise.After a while， she closed her eyes and relaxed into the warm water.'My beautiful Nadja，'the old man murmured.'You are so beautiful'.To my surprise， Mrs.Svoboda opened her eyes and murmured back， "My beautiful Troy.'Even more astonishing， she had tears in her eyes！"

Helen took a deep breath and continued her story."Mrs.Svoboda stayed calm that whole afternoon.Her husband helped me dress her and feed her lunch.She complained about the food and at one point knocked over her soup.Mr.Svoboda patiently cleaned it up and waited until her tantrum was over.Then he slowly fed her the rest of her meal and talked to her until she was ready to go to bed.I was concerned about that old man.He looked completely exhausted.I asked him why he insisted on doing so much by himself when we were paid to do it.He turned to me and said simply，'Because I love her.You don't understand." he continued. "We've been married for almost forty-nine years.When we started out， life on the farm was harder than you can imagine.The drought killed our crops， and there wasn't enough pasture for the cattle.Our children were small， and I didn't know how we were going to survive the winter.I was very hard to live with that year.Nadja put up with my moods， and left me alone， but one night I blew up at the supper table.She'd made our favorite treat， rice pudding， and all I could think about was how much sugar and milk she'd used."

Suddenly.I just couldn't take it.I picked up my bowl and threw it against the wall， and stormed out to the barn.I don't know how long I stayed there， but around sundown， Nadja came out to find me. "Troy"， she said， "you are not alone in your troubles.I promised to stand by you through everything life brought our way.But if you won't let me， then you have to go." She had tears in her eyes， but her voice was firm. "when you are ready to be with us again， we are here." Then she kissed my cheek and walked back to the house.

"I stayed in the barn that night， and the next day I headed into town to look for a job.There was nothing， of course， but I keep looking.After about a week， I was ready to give up.I felt a complete failure， at farming， as a man.I started for home， not knowing if I'd be welcome， but I didn't have anywhere else to go.When she saw me coming down the lane， Nadja came out running， her apron strings riving.She threw her arms around me and I began to weep.I clung to her like a newborn baby.

"If she could stay committed to me during my worst times， during the hardest time of our life， the least I can do is to comfort her now.And remind her of the good times we had.We always smiled at each other when we ate rice pudding， and it's one of the few things she still remembers."

Helen was quiet.Suddenly Sheila pushed back her chair，"My break is over，"she said， dabbing at the tears that rolled down her cheeks，"And I know an old lady who needs another dinner."She smiled at Helen."If I ask them nicely， I'll bet the kitchen can rustle up a dish of rice pudding for her， too."