Ayala'  s Angel
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第89章

I hate travelling at night and I hate diligences. I was quite prepared to post all the way, though it would have ruined me -- only for this accursed diligence.""I am sorry you should be inconvenienced.""It does not signify. What a man without a wife may suffer in that way never does signify. It's just fourteen hours. You wouldn't like Docimer to come with me.""That's nonsense. You needn't go the whole way unless you like.

You could sleep at Brunecken."

"Brunecken is only twelve miles, and it might be dangerous.""Of course you choose to turn everything into ridicule.""Better that than tears, Mrs Docimer. What's the good of crying?

I can't make myself an elder son. I can't endow Imogene with a hundred thousand pounds. She told me just now that I might earn my bread, but she knows that I can't. It's very sad. But what can be got by being melancholy?""At any rate you had better be away from her.""I am going -- this evening. Shall I walk on, half a stage, at once, without any dinner? I wish you had heard the kind of things she said to me. You would not have thought that I had gone to walk with her for my own pleasure.""Have you not deserved them?"

"I think not -- but nevertheless I bore them. A woman, of course, can say what she pleases. There's Docimer -- I hope he won't call me a coward."Mr Docimer came out on the terrace, on which the two were standing, looking as sour as death. "He is going by the diligence to Innsbruck this afternoon," said Mrs Docimer.

"Why did he come? A man with a grain of feeling would have remained away.""Now, Docimer," said Frank, "pray do not make yourself unpleasant.

Your sister has been abusing me all the morning like a pickpocket, and your wife looks at me as though she would say just as much if she dared. After all, what is it I have done that you think so wicked?""What will everybody think at home", said Mrs Docimer, "when they know that you're with us again? What chance is she to have if you follow her about in this way?""I shall not follow her very long," said Frank. "My wings will soon be cut, and then I shall never fly again." They were at this time walking up and down the terrace together, and it seemed for a while that neither of them had another word to say in the matter of the dispute between them. Then Houston went on again in his own defence. "Of course it is all bad," he said. "Of course we have all been fools. You knew it, and allowed it; and have no right to say a word to me.""We thought that when your uncle died there would have been money,"said Docimer, with a subdued growl.

"Exactly; and so did I. You do not mean to say that I deceived either you or her?""There should have been an end of it when that hope was over.""Of course there should. There should never have been a dream that she or I could marry on six hundred a year. Had not all of us been fools, we should have taken our hats off and bade each other farewell for ever when the state of the old man's affairs was known. We were fools; but we were fools together;and none of us have a right to abuse the others. When I became acquainted with this young lady at Rome, it had been settled among us that Imogene and I must seek our fortunes apart.""Then why did you come after her?" again asked Mr Docimer.

At this moment Imogene herself joined them on the terrace. "Mary,"she said to her sister-in-law, "I hope you are not carrying on this battle with Mr Houston. I have said what there was to be said.""You should have held your tongue and said nothing," growled her brother.

"Be that as it may I have said it, and he quite understands what I think about it. Let us eat our dinner in peace and quietness, and then let him go on his travels. He has the world free before him, which he no doubt will open like an oyster, though he does not carry a sword." Soon after this they did dine, and contented themselves with abusing the meat and the wine, and finding fault with Tyrolese cookery, just as though they had no deeper cares near their hearts. Precisely at six the heavy diligence stopped before the hotel door, and Houston, who was then smoking with Docimer on the terrace, got up to bid them adieu. Mrs Docimer was kind and almost affectionate, with a tear in her eye. "Well old fellow," said Docimer, "take care of yourself. Perhaps everything will turn up right some of these days." "Goodbye, Mr Houston,"said Imogene, just giving him her hand to touch in the lightest manner possible. "God bless you, Imogene," said he. And there was a tear also in his eye. But there was none in hers, as she stood looking at him while he prepared himself for his departure;nor did she say another word to him as he went. "And now", said she, when the three of them were left upon the terrace, "I will ask a great favour of you both. I will beg you not to let there be another word about Mr Houston among us." After that she rambled out by herself, and was not seen again by either of them that evening.

When she was alone she too shed her tears, though she felt impatient and vexed with herself as they came into her eyes. It was not perhaps only for her lost love that she wept. Had no one known that her love had been given and then lost she might have borne it without weeping. But now, in carrying on this vain affair of hers, in devoting herself to a lover who had, with her own consent, passed away from her, she had spent the sweet fresh years of her youth, and all those who knew her would know that it had been so. He had told her that it would be her fate to purchase for herself a husband with her beauty. It might be so.

At any rate she did not doubt her own beauty. But, if it were to be so, then the romance and the charm of her life were gone.

She had quite agreed that six hundred a year, and lodgings in Marylebone, would be quite unendurable; but what was there left for her that would be endurable? He could be happy with the prospect of Gertrude Tringle's money. She could not be happy, looking forward to that unloved husband who was to be purchased by her beauty.