第306章
"I did it," continued he, "because I had the right.He invited it.He knew me--knew what to expect.I suppose he decided that you were worth taking the risk.It's strange what fools men--all men--we men--are about women....
Yes, he knew it.He didn't blame me."
She stopped lacing the boot, turned so that she could look at him.
"Do you remember his talking about me one day?" he went on, meeting her gaze naturally."He said I was a survival of the Middle Ages--had a medieval Italian mind--said I would do anything to gain my end--and would have a clear conscience about it.Do you remember?""Yes."
"But you don't see why I had the right to kill him?"A shiver passed over her.She turned away again, began again to lace the boot--but now her fingers were uncertain.
"I'll explain," pursued he."You and I were getting along fine.He had had his chance with you and had lost it.
Well, he comes over here--looks us up--puts himself between you and me--proceeds to take you away from me.Not in a square manly way but under the pretense of giving you a career.
He made you restless--dissatisfied.He got you away from me.
Isn't that so?"
She was sitting motionless now.
Palmer went on in the same harsh, jerky way:
"Now, nobody in the world--not even you--knew me better than Brent did.He knew what to expect--if I caught on to what was doing.And I guess he knew I would be pretty sure to catch on.""He never said a word to me that you couldn't have heard,"said Susan.
"Of course not," retorted Palmer."That isn't the question.
It don't matter whether he wanted you for himself or for his plays.The point is that he took you away from me--he, my friend--and did it by stealth.You can't deny that.""He offered me a chance for a career--that was all," said she.
"He never asked for my love--or showed any interest in it.Igave him that."
He laughed--his old-time, gentle, sweet, wicked laugh.He said:
"Well--it'd have been better for him if you hadn't.All it did for him was to cost him his life."Up she sprang."Don't say that!" she cried passionately--so passionately that her whole body shook."Do you suppose Idon't know it? I know that I killed him.But I don't feel that he's dead.If I did, I'd not be able to live.But Ican't! I can't! For me he is as much alive as ever.""Try to think that--if it pleases you," sneered Palmer."The fact remains that it was _you_ who killed him."Again she shivered."Yes," she said, "I killed him.""And that's why I hate you," Palmer went on, calm and deliberate--except his eyes; they were terrible."A few minutes ago--when I was exulting that he would probably die--just then I found that opened cable on the mantel.Do you know what it did to me? It made me hate you.When I read it----" Freddie puffed at his cigarette in silence.She dropped weakly to the chair at the dressing table.
"Curse it!" he burst out."I loved him.Yes, I was crazy about him--and am still.I'm glad I killed him.I'd do it again.I had to do it.He owed me his life.But that doesn't make me forgive _you_."A long silence.Her fingers wandered among the articles spread upon the dressing table.He said:
"You're getting ready to leave?"
"I'm going to a hotel at once."
"Well, you needn't.I'm leaving.You're done with me.But I'm done with you." He rose, bent upon her his wicked glance, sneering and cruel."You never want to see me again.No more do I ever want to see you again.I wish to God I never had seen you.You cost me the only friend I ever had that I cared about.And what's a woman beside a friend--a _man_ friend?
You've made a fool of me, as a woman always does of a man--always, by God! If she loves him, she destroys him.If she doesn't love him, he destroys himself."Susan covered her face with her bare arms and sank down at the dressing table."For pity's sake," she cried brokenly, "spare me--spare me!"He seized her roughly by the shoulder."Just flesh!" he said.
"Beautiful flesh--but just female.And look what a fool you've made of me--and the best man in the world dead--over yonder! Spare you? Oh, you'll pull through all right.
You'll pull through everything and anything--and come out stronger and better looking and better off.Spare you! Hell!
I'd have killed you instead of him if I'd known I was going to hate you after I'd done the other thing.I'd do it yet--you dirty skirt!"He jerked her unresisting form to its feet, gazed at her like an insane fiend.With a sob he seized her in his arms, crushed her against his breast, sunk his fingers deep into her hair, kissed it, grinding his teeth as he kissed."I hate you, damn you--and I love you!" He flung her back into the chair--out of his life."You'll never see me again!" And he fled from the room--from the house.