第245章

I'm trying to make my way in the world, exactly like a man.

So I've got to be free from the rules that may be all very well for ladies.A woman can't fight with her hands tied, any more than a man can--and you know what happens to the men who allow themselves to be tied; they're poor downtrodden creatures working hard at small pay for the men who fight with their hands free.""I've taken you out of the unprotected woman class, my dear,"he reminded her."You're mine, now, and you're going back where you belong.""Back to the cage it's taken me so long to learn to do without?" She shook her head."No, Rod--I couldn't possibly do it--not if I wanted to....You've got several false ideas about me.You'll have to get rid of them, if we're to get along.""For instance?"

"In the first place, don't delude yourself with the notion that I'd marry you.I don't know whether the man I was forced to marry is dead or whether he's got a divorce.I don't care.

No matter how free I was I shouldn't marry you."He smiled complacently.She noted it without irritation.

Truly, small indeed is the heat of any kind that can be got from the warmed-up ashes of a burnt-out passion.She went easily on:

"You have nothing to offer me--neither love nor money.And a woman--unless she's a poor excuse--insists on one or the other.

You and I fancied we loved each other for a while.We don't fool ourselves in that way now.At least I don't, though Ibelieve you do imagine I'm in love with you.""You wouldn't be here if you weren't."

"Put that out of your head, Rod.It'll only breed trouble.

I don't like to say these things to you, but you compel me to.

I learned long ago how foolish it is to put off unpleasant things that will have to be faced in the end.The longer they're put off the worse the final reckoning is.Most of my troubles have come through my being too weak or good-natured--or whatever it was--to act as my good sense told me.I'm not going to make that mistake any more.And I'm going to start the new deal with absolute frankness with you.

I am not in love with you."

"I know you better than you know yourself," said he.

"For a little while after I found you again I did have a return of the old feeling--or something like it.But it soon passed.I couldn't love you.I know you too well."He struggled hard with his temper, as his vanity lashed at it.

She saw, struggled with her old sensitiveness about inflicting even necessary pain upon others, went on:

"I simply like you, Rod--and that's all.We're well acquainted.You're physically attractive to me--not wildly so, but enough--more than any other man--probably more than most husbands are to their wives--or most wives to their husbands.So as long as you treat me well and don't wander off to other women, I'm more than willing to stay on here.""Really!" said he, in an intensely sarcastic tone."Really!""Now--keep your temper," she warned."Didn't I keep mine when you were handing me that impertinent talk about how I should dress and the rest of it? No--let me finish.In the second place and in conclusion, my dear Rod, I'm not going to live off you.I'll pay my half of the room.I'll pay for my own clothes--and rouge for my lips.I'll buy and cook what we eat in the room; you'll pay when we go to a restaurant.I believe that's all.""Are you quite sure?" inquired he with much satire.

"Yes, I think so.Except--if you don't like my terms, I'm ready to leave at once.""And go back to the streets, I suppose?" jeered he.

"If it were necessary--yes.So long as I've got my youth and my health, I'll do precisely as I please.I've no craving for respectability--not the slightest.I--I----" She tried to speak of her birth, that secret shame of which she was ashamed.She had been thinking that Brent's big fine way of looking at things had cured her of this bitterness.She found that it had not--as yet.So she went on, "I'd prefer your friendship to your ill will--much prefer it, as you're the only person I can look to for what a man can do for a woman, and as I like you.But if I have to take tyranny along with the friendship--" she looked at him quietly and her tones were almost tender, almost appealing--"then, it's good-by, Rod."She had silenced him, for he saw in her eyes, much more gray than violet though the suggestion of violet was there, that she meant precisely what she said.He was astonished, almost dazed by the change in her.This woman grown was not the Susie who had left him.No--and yet----She had left him, hadn't she? That showed a character completely hidden from him, perhaps the character he was now seeing.He asked--and there was no sarcasm and a great deal of uneasiness in his tone:

"How do you expect to make a living?"

"I've got a place at forty dollars a week."

"Forty dollars a week! You!" He scowled savagely at her.

"There's only one thing anyone would pay you forty a week for.""That's what I'd have said," rejoined she."But it seems not to be true.My luck may not last, but while it lasts, I'll have forty a week.""I don't believe you," said he, with the angry bluntness of jealousy.

"Then you want me to go?" inquired she, with a certain melancholy but without any weakness.

He ignored her question.He demanded:

"Who's giving it to you?"

"Brent."

Spenser leaned from the bed toward her in his excitement.

"_Robert_ Brent?" he cried.

"Yes.I'm to have a part in one of his plays."Spenser laughed harshly."What rot! You're his mistress.""It wouldn't be strange for you to think I'd accept that position for so little, but you must know a man of his sort wouldn't have so cheap a mistress.""It's simply absurd."

"He is to train me himself."

"You never told me you knew him."

"I don't."

"Who got you the job?"

"He saw me in Fitzalan's office the day you sent me there.He asked me to call, and when I went he made me the offer.""Absolute rot.What reason did he give?"

"He said I looked as if I had the temperament he was in search of.""You must take me for a fool."

"Why should I lie to you?"