第13章 PART THE FIRST(9)
Eternal Wisdom.--My love is of that sort which is not diminished in unity,nor confounded in multiplicity.I am as entirely concerned and occupied with thee alone,with the thought how I may at all times love thee alone,and fulfill everything that appertains to thee,as though I were wholly disengaged from all other things.
The Servant.--O rare!O wonderful!whither am I borne,how am I gone astray!how is my soul utterly dissolved by the sweet friendly words of my beloved!Oh,turn away Thy bright eyes from me,for they have overcome me.[4]Wherever was there a heart so hard,a soul so lukewarm,so cold as,when it heard Thy sweet living words,so exceedingly fiery as they are,was not fain to melt and kindle in Thy sweet love!O wonder of wonders!that he who thus sees Thee with the eyes of his soul,should not feel his very heart dissolve in love.How right blessed is he who bears the name of Thy Spouse,and is so!What sweet consolations and secret tokens of Thy love must not he eternally receive from Thee!O thou sweet virgin St.Agnes,thou fair wooer of Eternal Wisdom!how well couldst thou console thyself with thy dear Bridegroom,when thou didst say,"His blood has adorned my cheeks as with roses."O gentle Lord,that my soul were but worthy to be called Thy wooer!
And were it indeed possible that all delights,all joy and love,that this world can afford,might be found united in one man,how gladly would I renounce him for the sake of that name!How blessed is that man,that ever he was born into the world who is named Thy friend,and is so!Oh,if a man had even a thousand lives,he ought to stake them at once for the sake of acquiring Thy love.Oh,all ye friends of God,all ye heavenly host,and thou dear virgin St.Agnes,help me to pray to Him:for never did I rightly know what His love was.Alas!thou heart of mine,lay aside,put away all sloth,and see if,before thy death,thou mayest advance so far as to feel His sweet love.O thou tender beautiful Wisdom!O my elected One!What a truly right gracious love Thou canst be above all loves else in the world!
How very different is Thy love and the love of creatures!How false is everything that appears lovely in this world and gives itself out to be something,as soon as one really begins to know it.Lord,wherever I might cast my eyes I always found something to disgust me;for,if it was a fair image,it was void of grace;if it was fair and lovely,it had not the true way;or if it had indeed this,still,I always found something either inwardly or outwardly,to which the entire inclination of my heart was secretly opposed.But Thou art beauty with infinite affability,Thou art grace in shape and form,the word with the way,nobility with virtue,riches with power,interior freedom and exterior brightness,and one thing Thou art which I have never found in time,namely,a power and faculty of perfectly satiating every wish and every ardent desire of a truly loving heart.The more one knows Thee,the more one loves Thee;the more acquainted one is with Thee,the more friendly one finds Thee.Ah me!what an unfathomable,entirely pure,good Thou art!See how deceived all those hearts are that fix their affections on anything else!Ah!ye false lovers,flee far from me,never come near me more.I have chosen for my heart that one only love in which my heart,my soul,my desire,and all my powers can alone be satiated with a love that never dissolves away.Oh Lord,could I but trace Thee on my heart!could I but melt Thee with characters of gold into the innermost core of my heart and soul,so that Thou mightest never be eradicated out of me!
Oh,misery and desolation!that ever I should have troubled my heart with such things!What have I gained with all my lovers,but time lost,forfeited words,an empty hand,few good works,and a conscience burdened with infirmity?Slay me,rather,in Thy love,O Lord,for from Thy feet I will never more be separated.
Eternal Wisdom.--I go forth to meet those who seek Me,and I receive with affectionate joy such as desire My love.All that thou canst ever experience of My sweet love in time,is but as a little drop to the ocean of My love in eternity.
CHAPTER VIII.An Explanation of Three Things Which Most of All Might Be Likely To Be Repugnant To A Loving Heart In God.