第77章
Of painting she was devotedly fond, and made no more of brushing in a sketch than of pulling off her gloves.At Gardencourt she was perpetually taking advantage of an hour's sunshine to go out with a camp-stool and a box of water-colours.That she was a brave musician we have already perceived, and it was evidence of the fact that when she seated herself at the piano, as she always did in the evening, her listeners resigned themselves without a murmur to losing the grace of her talk.Isabel, since she had known her, felt ashamed of her own facility, which she now looked upon as basely inferior; and indeed, though she had been thought rather a prodigy at home, the loss to society when, in taking her place upon the music-stool, she turned her back to the room, was usually deemed greater than the gain.
When Madame Merle was neither writing, nor painting, nor touching the piano, she was usually employed upon wonderful tasks of rich embroidery, cushions, curtains, decorations for the chimney-piece;an art in which her bold, free invention was as noted as the agility of her needle.She was never idle, for when engaged in none of the ways I have mentioned she was either reading (she appeared to Isabel to read "everything important"), or walking out, or playing patience with the cards, or talking with her fellow inmates.And with all this she had always the social quality, was never rudely absent and yet never too seated.She laid down her pastimes as easily as she took them up; she worked and talked at the same time, and appeared to impute scant worth to anything she did.She gave away her sketches and tapestries; she rose from the piano or remained there, according to the convenience of her auditors, which she always unerringly divined.She was in short the most comfortable, profitable, amenable person to live with.If for Isabel she had a fault it was that she was not natural; by which the girl meant, not that she was either affected or pretentious, since from these vulgar vices no woman could have been more exempt, but that her nature had been too much overlaid by custom and her angles too much rubbed away.She had become too flexible, too useful, was too ripe and too final.She was in a word too perfectly the social animal that man and woman are supposed to have been intended to be; and she had rid herself of every remnant of that tonic wildness which we may assume to have belonged even to the most amiable persons in the ages before country-house life was the fashion.Isabel found it difficult to think of her in any detachment or privacy, she existed only in her relations, direct or indirect, with her fellow mortals.One might wonder what commerce she could possibly hold with her own spirit.One always ended, however, by feeling that a charming surface doesn't necessarily prove one superficial; this was an illusion in which, in one's youth, one had but just escaped being nourished.Madame Merle was not superficial-not she.She was deep, and her nature spoke none the less in her behaviour because it spoke a conventional tongue."What's language at all but a convention?" said Isabel."She has the good taste not to pretend, like some people I've met, to express herself by original signs.""I'm afraid you've suffered much," she once found occasion to say to her friend in response to some allusion that had appeared to reach far.
"What makes you think that?" Madame Merle asked with the amused smile of a person seated at a game of guesses."I hope I haven't too much the droop of the misunderstood.""No; but you sometimes say things that I think people who have always been happy wouldn't have found out.""I haven't always been happy," said Madame Merle, smiling still, but with a mock gravity, as if she were telling a child a secret."Such a wonderful thing!"But Isabel rose to the irony."A great many people give me the impression of never having for a moment felt anything.""It's very true; there are many more iron pots certainly than porcelain.But you may depend on it that every one bears some mark;even the hardest iron pots have a little bruise, a little hole somewhere.I flatter myself that I'm rather stout, but if I must tell you the truth I've been shockingly chipped and cracked.I do very well for service yet, because I've been cleverly mended; and I try to remain in the cupboard- the quiet, dusky cupboard where there's an odour of stale spices- as much as I can.But when I've to come out and into a strong light- then, my dear, I'm a horror!"I know not whether it was on this occasion or on some other that when the conversation had taken the turn I have just indicated she said to Isabel that she would some day a tale unfold.Isabel assured her she should delight to listen to one, and reminded her more than once of this engagement.Madame Merle, however, begged repeatedly for a respite, and at last frankly told her young companion that they must wait till they knew each other better.This would be sure to happen; a long friendship so visibly lay before them.Isabel assented, but at the same time enquired if she mightn't be trusted- if she appeared capable of a betrayal of confidence.