第14章 SCENE 1(1)

--Red Gulch. Canyon of river, and distant view of Sierras, snow-ravined. Schoolhouse of logs in right middle distance. Ledge of rocks in centre. On steps of schoolhouse two large bunches of flowers. Enter STARBOTTLE, slowly climbing rocks L., panting and exhausted. Seats himself on rock, foreground, and wipes his face with his pocket-handkerchief.

Starbottle. This is evidently the er--locality. Here are the--er--groves of Academus--the heights of er--Ida! I should say that the unwillingness which the--er--divine Shakespeare points out in the--er--"whining schoolboy" is intensified in--er--climbing this height, and the--er--alacrity of his departure must be in exact ratio to his gravitation. Good idea. Ged! say it to schoolma'am.

Wonder what she's like? Humph! the usual thin, weazened, hatchet-faced Yankee spinster, with an indecent familiarity with Webster's Dictionary! And this is the woman, Star, you're expected to discover, and bring back to affluence and plenty. This is the new fanaticism of Mr. Alexander Morton, sen. Ged! not satisfied with dragging his prodigal son out of merited obscurity, this miserable old lunatic commissions ME to hunt up another of his abused relatives; some forty-fifth cousin, whose mother he had frozen, beaten, or starved to death! And all this to please his prodigal!

Ged! if that prodigal hadn't presented himself that morning, I'd have picked up--er--some--er--reduced gentleman--Ged, that knew how to spend the old man's money to better advantage. (Musing.) If this schoolmistress were barely good-looking, Star,--and she's sure to have fifty thousand from the old man,--Ged, you might get even with Alexander, sen., for betrothing his prodigal to Dona Jovita, in spite of the--er--evident preference that the girl showed for you. Capital idea! If she's not positively hideous I'll do it!

Ged! I'll reconnoitre first! (Musing.) I could stand one eye; yes--er--single eye would not be positively objectionable in the--er--present experiments of science toward the--er--the substitution of glass. Red hair, Star, is--er--Venetian,--the beauty of Giorgione. (Goes up to schoolhouse window, and looks in.) Too early! Seven empty benches; seven desks splashed with ink. The--er--rostrum of the awful Minerva empty, but--er--adorned with flowers, nosegays--demn me! And here, here on the--er--very threshold (looking down), floral tributes. The--er--conceit of these New England schoolma'ams, and their--er--evident Jesuitical influence over the young, is fraught, sir, fraught with--er--darkly political significance. Eh, Ged! there's a caricature on the blackboard. (Laughing.) Ha, ha! Absurd chalk outline of ridiculous fat person. Evidently the schoolma'am's admirer. Ged! immensely funny! Ah! boys will be boys. Like you, Star, just like you,--always up to tricks like that. A sentence scrawled below the figure seems to be--er--explanation. Hem! (Takes out eyeglass.)

Let's see (reading.) "This is old"--old--er--old--demme, sir!--"Starbottle!" This is infamous. I haven't been forty-eight hours in the place, and to my certain knowledge haven't spoken to a child. Ged, sir, it's the--er--posting of a libel! The woman, the--er--female, who permits this kind of thing, should be made responsible--er--personally responsible. Eh, hush! What have we here? (Retires to ledge of rocks.)

Enter MISS MARY L., reading letter.

Miss Mary. Strange! Is it all a dream? No! here are the familiar rocks, the distant snow-peaks, the schoolhouse, the spring below.

An hour ago I was the poor schoolmistress of Red Gulch, with no ambition nor hope beyond this mountain wall; and now--oh, it must be a dream! But here is the letter. Certainly this is no delusion: it is too plain, formal, business-like. (Reads.)

MY DEAR COUSIN--I address the only surviving child of my cousin Mary and her husband John Morris, both deceased. It is my duty as a Christian relative to provide you with a home--to share with you that wealth and those blessings that a kind providence has vouchsafed me. I am aware that my conduct to your father and mother, while in my sinful and unregenerate state, is no warrantee for my present promise; but my legal adviser, Col. Starbottle, who is empowered to treat with you, will assure you of the sincerity of my intention, and my legal ability to perform it. He will conduct you to my house; you will share its roof with me and my prodigal son Alexander, now by the grace of God restored, and mindful of the error of his ways. I enclose a draft for one thousand dollars: if you require more, draw upon me for the same.

Your cousin, ALEXANDER MORTON, SEN.

My mother's cousin--so! Cousin Alexander! a rich man, and reunited to the son he drove into shameful exile. Well! we will see this confidential lawyer; and until then--until then--why, we are the schoolmistress of Red Gulch, and responsible for its youthful prodigals. (Going to schoolhouse door.)

Miss Mary (stopping to examine flowers). Poor, poor Sandy!

Another offering, and, as he fondly believes, unknown and anonymous! As if he were not visible in every petal and leaf!

The mariposa blossom of the plain. The snowflower I longed for, from those cool snowdrifts beyond the ridge. And I really believe he was sober when he arranged them. Poor fellow! I begin to think that the dissipated portion of this community are the most interesting. Ah! some one behind the rock,--Sandy, I'll wager.

No! a stranger!