第225章

'And that you, having secured her, can creep under his wing like an additional ducal chick. It is very comfortable. The Duke will be quite a Providence to you. I wonder that all young gentlemen do not marry heiresses;--it is so easy. And you have got your seat in Parliament too! Oh, your luck! When I look back upon it all it seems so hard to me! It was for you;--for you that I used to be anxious. Now it is I who have not an inch of ground to stand upon.' Then he approached her and put out his hand to her. 'No,' she said, putting both her hands behind her back, 'for God's sake let there be no tenderness. But is it not cruel? Think of my advantages at that moment when you and I agreed that our paths should be separate. My fortune then had not been made quite shipwreck by my father and brother. I had before me all that society could offer. I was called handsome and clever. Where was there a girl more likely to make her way to the top?'

'You may do still.'

'No;--no;--I cannot. And you at least should not tell me so. I did not know then the virulence of the malady which had fallen on me.

I did not know that, because of you, other men would have been abhorrent to me. I thought that I was as easy-hearted as you have proved yourself.'

'How cruel you can be.'

'Have I done anything to interfere with you? Have I said a word even to that young lad when I might have said a word? Yes; to him I did say something; but I waited, and would not say it, while a word could hurt you. Shall I tell you what I told him? Just everything that has ever happened between you and me.'

'You did?'

'Yes;--because I saw that I could trust him. I told him because I wanted him to be quite sure that I had never loved him. But, Frank, I have put no spoke in your wheel. There has not been a moment since you told me of your love for this rich young lady in which I would not have helped you had help been in my power.

Whomever I may have harmed, I have never harmed you.'

'Am I not as clear from blame towards you?'

'No, Frank. You have done me the terrible evil of ceasing to love me.'

'It was at your own bidding.'

'Certainly! But if I were to bid you to cut your throat, would you do it?'

'Was it not you who decided that we could not wait for each other?'

'And should it not have been for you to decide that you would wait?'

'You also would have married.'

'It almost angers me that you should not see the difference. A girl unless she marries becomes nothing, as I have become nothing now. A man does not want a pillar on which to lean. A man, when he has done as you have done with me, and made a girl's heart all his own, even though his own heart had been flexible and plastic as yours is, should have been true to her, at least for a while. Did it never occur to you that you owed something to me?'

'I have always owed you very much.'

'There should have been some touch of chivalry if not of love to make you feel that a second passion should have been postponed for a year or two. You could wait without growing old. You might have allowed yourself a little space to dwell--I was going to say on the sweetness of your memories. But they were not sweet, Frank, they were not sweet to you.'

'These rebukes, Mabel, will rob them of their sweetness,--for a time.'

'It is gone; all gone,' she said, shaking her head,--'gone from me because I have been so easily deserted; gone from you because the change has been so easy to you. How long was it, Frank, after you had left me before you were basking happily in the smiles of Lady Mary Palliser?'

'It was not very long, as months go.'

'Say days, Frank.'

'I have to defend myself, and I will do so with truth. It was not very long,--as months go; but why should it have been less long, whether for months or days? I had to cure myself of a wound.'

'To put plaster on a scratch, Frank.'

'And the sooner a man can do that the more manly he is. Is it a sign of strength to wail under a sorrow that cannot be cured,--or of truth to perpetuate the appearance of a woe?'

'Has it been an appearance with me?'