第45章 NOT CURATE(2)

What is incredible to thee,thou shalt not,at thy soul's peril,attempt to believe!--Elsewhither for a refuge,or die here.Go to Perdition if thou must,--but not with a lie in thy mouth;by the Eternal Maker,no!"Alas,once more!How are poor mortals whirled hither and thither in the tumultuous chaos of our era;and,under the thick smoke-canopy which has eclipsed all stars,how do they fly now after this poor meteor,now after that!--Sterling abandoned his clerical office in February,1835;having held it,and ardently followed it,so long as we say,--eight calendar months in all.

It was on this his February expedition to London that I first saw Sterling,--at the India House incidentally,one afternoon,where Ifound him in company with John Mill,whom I happened like himself to be visiting for a few minutes.The sight of one whose fine qualities I had often heard of lately,was interesting enough;and,on the whole,proved not disappointing,though it was the translation of dream into fact,that is of poetry into prose,and showed its unrhymed side withal.A loose,careless-looking,thin figure,in careless dim costume,sat,in a lounging posture,carelessly and copiously talking.

I was struck with the kindly but restless swift-glancing eyes,which looked as if the spirits were all out coursing like a pack of merry eager beagles,beating every bush.The brow,rather sloping in form,was not of imposing character,though again the head was longish,which is always the best sign of intellect;the physiognomy in general indicated animation rather than strength.

We talked rapidly of various unmemorable things:I remember coming on the Negroes,and noticing that Sterling's notion on the Slavery Question had not advanced into the stage of mine.In reference to the question whether an "engagement for life,"on just terms,between parties who are fixed in the character of master and servant,as the Whites and the Negroes are,is not really better than one from day to day,--he said with a kindly jeer,"I would have the Negroes themselves consulted as to that!"--and would not in the least believe that the Negroes were by no means final or perfect judges of it.--His address,I perceived,was abrupt,unceremonious;probably not at all disinclined to logic,and capable of dashing in upon you like a charge of Cossacks,on occasion:but it was also eminently ingenious,social,guileless.We did all very well together:and Sterling and Iwalked westward in company,choosing whatever lanes or quietest streets there were,as far as Knightsbridge where our roads parted;talking on moralities,theological philosophies;arguing copiously,but _except_in opinion not disagreeing In his notions on such subjects,the expected Coleridge cast of thought was very visible;and he seemed to express it even with exaggeration,and in a fearless dogmatic manner.Identity of sentiment,difference of opinion:these are the known elements of a pleasant dialogue.We parted with the mutual wish to meet again;--which accordingly,at his Father's house and at mine,we soon repeatedly did;and already,in the few days before his return to Herstmonceux,had laid the foundations of a frank intercourse,pointing towards pleasant intimacies both with himself and with his circle,which in the future were abundantly fulfilled.His Mother,essentially and even professedly "Scotch,"took to my Wife gradually with a most kind maternal relation;his Father,a gallant showy stirring gentleman,the Magus of the _Times_,had talk and argument ever ready,was an interesting figure,and more and more took interest in us.We had unconsciously made an acquisition,which grew richer and wholesomer with every new year;and ranks now,seen in the pale moonlight of memory,and must ever rank,among the precious possessions of life.

Sterling's bright ingenuity,and also his audacity,velocity and alacrity,struck me more and more.It was,I think,on the occasion of a party given one of these evenings at his Father's,where Iremember John Mill,John Crawford,Mrs.Crawford,and a number of young and elderly figures of distinction,--that a group having formed on the younger side of the room,and transcendentalisms and theologies forming the topic,a number of deep things were said in abrupt conversational style,Sterling in the thick of it.For example,one sceptical figure praised the Church of England,in Hume's phrase,"as a Church tending to keep down fanaticism,"and recommendable for its very indifferency;whereupon a transcendental figure urges him:"You are afraid of the horse's kicking:but will you sacrifice all qualities to being safe from that?Then get a dead horse.None comparable to that for not kicking in your stable!"Upon which,a laugh;with new laughs on other the like occasions;--and at last,in the fire of some discussion,Sterling,who was unusually eloquent and animated,broke out with this wild phrase,"I could plunge into the bottom of Hell,if I were sure of finding the Devil there and getting him strangled!"Which produced the loudest laugh of all;and had to be repeated,on Mrs.Crawford's inquiry,to the house at large;and,creating among the elders a kind of silent shudder,--though we urged that the feat would really be a good investment of human industry,--checked or stopt these theologic thunders for the evening.

I still remember Sterling as in one of his most animated moods that evening.He probably returned to Herstmonceux next day,where he proposed yet to reside for some indefinite time.