第7章

THE INFLUENCE OF THE ARISTOCRACY ON SNOBS

Last Sunday week, being at church in this city, and the service just ended, I heard two Snobs conversing about the Parson.One was asking the other who the clergyman was? 'He is Mr.So-and-so,' the second Snob answered, 'domestic chaplain to the Earl of What-d'ye-call'im.'

'Oh, is he' said the first Snob, with a tone of indescribable satisfaction.--The Parson's orthodoxy and identity were at once settled in this Snob's mind.He knew no more about the Earl than about the Chaplain, but he took the latter's character upon the authority of the former; and went home quite contented with his Reverence, like a little truckling Snob.

This incident gave me more matter for reflection even than the sermon: and wonderment at the extent and prevalence of Lordolatory in this country.What could it matter to Snob whether his Reverence were chaplain to his Lordship or not? What Peerageworship there is all through this free country! How we are all implicated in it, and more or less down on our knees.--And with regard to the great subject on hand, I think that the influence of the Peerage upon Snobbishness has been more remarkabie than that of any other institution.The increase, encouragement, and maintenance of Snobs are among the 'priceless services,' as Lord John Russell says, which we owe to the nobility.

It can't be otherwise.A man becomes enormously rich, or he jobs successfully in the aid of a Minister, or he wins a great battle, or executes a treaty, or is a clever lawyer who makes a multitude of fees and ascends the bench; and the country rewards him for ever with a gold coronot (with more or less balls or leaves) and a title, and a rank as legislator.'Your merits are so great,'

says the nation, 'that your children shall be allowed to reign over us, in a manner.It does not in the least matter that your eldest son be a fool: we think your services so remarkable, that he shall have the reversion of your honours when death vacates your noble shoes.If you are poor, we will give you such a sum of money as shall enable you and the eldest-born of your race for ever to live in fat and splendour.It is our wish that there should be a race set apart in this happy country, who shall hold the first rank, have the first prizes and chances in all government jobs and patronages.We cannot make all your dear children Peers--that would make Peerage common and crowd the House of Lords uncomfortably--but the young ones shall have everything a Government can give: they shall get the pick of all the places: they shall be Captains and Lieutenant-Colonels at nineteen, when hoary-headed old lieutenants are spending thirty years at drill: they shall command ships at one-and-twenty, and veterans who fought before they were born.And as we are eminently a free people, and in order to encourage all men to do their duty, we say to any man of any rank--get enormously rich, make immense fees as a lawyer, or great speeches, or distinguish yourself and win battles--and you, even you, shall come into the privileged class, and your children shall reign naturally over ours.'