第50章

She beckoned me with a winning smile to the sofa, on which she made room for me, and where we could command a fine view of the backs of the young ladies who were performing the musical entertainment.Very broad backs they were too, strictly according to the present mode, for crinoline or its substitutes is not an expensive luxury, and young people in the country can afford to be in the fashion at very trifling charges.Miss Emily Ponto at the piano, and her sister Maria at that somewhat exploded instrument, the harp, were in light blue dresses that looked all flounce, and spread out like Mr.Green's balloon when inflated.

'Brilliant touch Emily has--what a fine arm Maria's is,'

Mrs.Ponto remarked good-naturedly, pointing out the merits of her daughters, and waving her own arm in such a way as to show that she was not a little satisfied with the beauty of that member.I observed she had about nine bracelets and bangles, consisting of chains and padlocks, the Major's miniature, and a variety of brass serpents with fiery ruby or tender turquoise eyes, writhing up to her elbow almost, in the most profuse contortions.

'You recognize those polkas? They were played at Devonshire House on the 23rd of July, the day of the grand f?te.' So I said yes--I knew 'em quite intimately;and began wagging my head as if in acknowledgment of those old friends.

When the performance was concluded, I had the felicity of a presentation and conversation with the two tall and scraggy Miss Pontos; and Miss Wirt, the governess, sat down to entertain us with variations on 'Sich a gettin'

up Stairs.' They were determined to be in the fashion.

For the performance of the 'Gettin' up Stairs,' I have no other name but that it was a STUNNER.First Miss Wirt, with great deliberation, played the original and beautiful melody, cutting it, as it were, out of the instrument, and firing off each note so loud, clear, and sharp, that I am sure Stripes must have heard it in the stable.

'What a finger!' says Mrs.Ponto; and indeed it WAS a finger, as knotted as a turkey's drumstick, and splaying all over the piano.When she had banged out the tune slowly, she began a different manner of 'Gettin' up Stairs,' and did so with a fury and swiftness quite incredible.She spun up stairs; she whirled up stairs:

she galloped up stairs; she rattled up stairs; and then having got the tune to the top landing, as it were, she hurled it down again shrieking to the bottom floor, where it sank in a crash as if exhausted by the breathless rapidity of the descent.Then Miss Wirt played the 'Gettin' up Stairs' with the most pathetic and ravishing solemnity: plaintive moans and sobs issued from the keys--you wept and trembled as you were gettin' up stairs.

Miss Wirt's hands seemed to faint and wail and die in variations: again, and she went up with a savage clang and rush of trumpets, as if Miss Wirt was storming a breach; and although I knew nothing of music, as I sat and listened with my mouth open to this wonderful display, my CAFFY grew cold, and I wondered the windows did not crack and the chandelier start out of the beam at the sound of this earthquake of a piece of music.

'Glorious creature! Isn't she?' said Mrs.Ponto.

'Squirtz's favourite pupil--inestimable to have such a creature.Lady Carabas would give her eyes for her! Aprodigy of accomplishments! Thank you, Miss Wirt'--and the young ladies gave a heave and a gasp of admiration--a deep-breathing gushing sound, such as you hear at church when the sermon comes to a full stop.

Miss Wirt put her two great double-knuckled hands round a waist of her two pupils, and said, 'My dear children, Ihope you will be able to play it soon as well as your poor little governess.When I lived with the Dunsinanes, it was the dear Duchess's favourite, and Lady Barbara and Lady Jane McBeth learned it.It was while hearing Jane play that, I remember, that dear Lord Castletoddy first fell in love with her; and though he is but an Irish Peer, with not more than fifteen thousand a year, Ipersuaded Jane to have him.Do you know Castletoddy, Mr.

Snob?--round towers--sweet place-County Mayo.Old Lord Castletoddy (the present Lord was then Lord Inishowan)was a most eccentric old man--they say he was mad.Iheard his Royal Highness the poor dear Duke of Sussex--(SUCH a man, my dears, but alas! addicted to smoking!)--Iheard his Royal Highness say to the Marquis of Anglesey, "I am sure Castletoddy is mad!" but Inishowan wasn't in marrying my sweet Jane, though the dear child had but her ten thousand pounds POUR TOUT POTAGE!'

'Most invaluable person,' whispered Mrs.Major Ponto to me.'Has lived in the very highest society:' and I, who have been accustomed to see governesses bullied in the world, was delighted to find this one ruling the roast, and to think that even the majestic Mrs.Ponto bent before her.

As for my pipe, so to speak, it went out at once.Ihadn't a word to say against a woman who was intimate with every Duchess in the Red Book.She wasn't the rosebud, but she had been near it.She had rubbed shoulders with the great, and about these we talked all the evening incessantly, and about the fashions, and about the Court, until bed-time came.

'And are there Snobs in this Elysium?' I exclaimed, jumping into the lavender-perfumed bed.Ponto's snoring boomed from the neighbouring bed-room in reply.