第13章 KISSES AND KLEPTOMANIA(3)
"You are trifling, Smithson," the owner of the store exclaimed, in high exasperation."Not a thief! And you caught her with a hundred dollars worth of laces that she hadn't bought.Not a thief! What in heaven's name do you call her, then?""A kleptomaniac," Smithson explained, retaining his manner of mild insistence."You see, sir, it's this way.The lady happens to be the wife of J.W.Gaskell, the banker, you know."Yes, Gilder did know.The mention of the name was like a spell in the effect it wrought on the attitude of the irritated owner of the store.Instantly, his expression changed.While before his features had been set grimly, while his eyes had flashed wrathfully, there was now only annoyance over an event markedly unfortunate.
"How extremely awkward!" he cried; and there was a very real concern in his voice.He regarded Smithson kindly, whereat that rather puling gentleman once again assumed his martial bearing.
"You were quite right in coming to me." For a moment he was silent, plunged in thought.Finally he spoke with the decisiveness characteristic of him."Of course, there's nothing we can do.Just put the stuff back on the counter, and let her go."But Smithson had not yet wholly unburdened himself.Instead of immediately leaving the room in pursuance of the succinct instructions given him, he again cleared his throat nervously, and made known a further aggravating factor in the situation.
"She's very angry, Mr.Gilder," he announced, timidly.
"She--er--she demands an--er--an apology."The owner of the store half-rose from his chair, then threw himself back with an exclamation of disgust.He again ejaculated the words with which he had greeted his son's unexpected kisses, but now there was a vast difference in the intonation.
"God bless my soul!" he cried.From his expression, it was clear that a pious aspiration was farthest from his thought.On the contrary! Again, he fell silent, considering the situation which Smithson had presented, and, as he reflected, his frown betrayed the emotion natural enough under the circumstances.At last, however, he mastered his irritation to some degree, and spoke his command briefly."Well, Smithson, apologize to her.It can't be helped." Then his face lighted with a sardonic amusement."And, Smithson," he went on with a sort of elephantine playfulness, "Ishall take it as a personal favor if you will tactfully advise the lady that the goods at Altman and Stern's are really even finer than ours."When Smithson had left the office, Gilder turned to his secretary.
"Take this," he directed, and he forthwith dictated the following letter to the husband of the lady who was not a thief, as Smithson had so painstakingly pointed out:
"J.W.GASKELL, ESQ., "Central National Bank, New York.
"MY DEAR Mr.GASKELL: I feel that I should be doing less than my duty as a man if I did not let you know at once that Mrs.Gaskell is in urgent need of medical attention.She came into our store to-day, and----"He paused for a moment."No, put it this way," he said finally: