第49章
Now he's bundled her up on his back amain, And to her old husband he took her again.
'I have been a tormenter the whole of my life, But I ne'er was tormenter till I met with your wife.'
Ballad: OLD WICHET AND HIS WIFE.
[THIS song still retains its popularity in the North of England, and, when sung with humour, never fails to elicit roars of laughter. A Scotch version may be found in Herd's Collection, 1769, and also in Cunningham's SONGS OF ENGLAND AND SCOTLAND, London, 1835. We cannot venture to give an opinion as to which is the original; but the English set is of unquestionable antiquity.
Our copy was obtained from Yorkshire. It has been collated with one printed at the Aldermary press, and preserved in the third volume of the Roxburgh Collection. The tune is peculiar to the song.]
O! I went into the stable, and there for to see, And there I saw three horses stand, by one, by two, and by three;O! I called to my loving wife, and 'Anon, kind sir!' quoth she;'O! what do these three horses here, without the leave of me?'
'Why, you old fool! blind fool! can't you very well see, These are three milking cows my mother sent to me?'
'Ods bobs! well done! milking cows with saddles on!
The like was never known!'
Old Wichet a cuckold went out, and a cuckold he came home!
O! I went into the kitchen, and there for to see, And there I saw three swords hang, by one, by two, quoth she;O! I called to my loving wife, and 'Anon, kind sir!'
'O! what do these three swords do here, without the leave of me?'
'Why, you old fool! blind fool! can't you very well see, These are three roasting spits my mother sent to me?'
'Ods bobs! well done! roasting spits with scabbards on!
The like was never known!'
Old Wichet a cuckold went out, and a cuckold he came home!
O! I went into the parlour, and there for to see, And there I saw three cloaks hang, by one, by two, and by three;O! I called to my loving wife, and 'Anon, kind sir!' quoth she;'O! what do these three cloaks do here, without the leave of me?'
'Why, you old fool! blind fool! can't you very well see, These are three mantuas my mother sent to me?'
'Ods bobs! well done! mantuas with capes on!
The like was never known!'
Old Wichet a cuckold went out, and a cuckold he came home!
O! I went into the pantry, and there for to see, And there I saw three pair of boots, by one, by two, and by three;O! I called to my loving wife, and 'Anon, kind sir!' quoth she;'O! what do these three pair of boots here, without the leave of me?'
'Why, you old fool! blind fool! can't you very well see, These are three pudding-bags my mother sent to me?'
'Ods bobs! well done! pudding-bags with spurs on!
The like was never known!'
Old Wichet a cuckold went out, and a cuckold he came home!
O! I went into the dairy, and there for to see, And there I saw three hats hang, by one, by two, and by three;O! I called to my loving wife, and 'Anon, kind sir!' quoth she;'Pray what do these three hats here, without the leave of me?'
'Why, you old fool! blind fool! can't you very well see, These are three skimming-dishes my mother sent to me?'
'Ods bobs! well done! skimming-dishes with hat-bands on!
The like was never known!'
Old Wichet a cuckold went out, and a cuckold he came home!
O! I went into the chamber, and there for to see, And there I saw three men in bed, by one, by two, and by three;O! I called to my loving wife, and 'Anon, kind sir!' quoth she;'O! what do these three men here, without the leave of me?'
'Why, you old fool! blind fool! can't you very well see, They are three milking-maids my mother sent to me?'
'Ods bobs! well done! milking-maids with beards on!
The like was never known!'
Old Wichet a cuckold went out, and a cuckold he came home!
Ballad: THE JOLLY WAGGONER.
[THIS country song can be traced back a century at least, but is, no doubt, much older. It is very popular in the West of England.
The words are spirited and characteristic. We may, perhaps, refer the song to the days of transition, when the waggon displaced the packhorse.]
WHEN first I went a-waggoning, a-waggoning did go, I filled my parents' hearts full of sorrow, grief, and woe. And many are the hardships that I have since gone through.
And sing wo, my lads, sing wo!
Drive on my lads, I-ho!
And who wouldn't lead the life of a jolly waggoner?
It is a cold and stormy night, and I'm wet to the skin, I will bear it with contentment till I get unto the inn.
And then I'll get a drinking with the landlord and his kin.
And sing, &c.
Now summer it is coming, - what pleasure we shall see;The small birds are a-singing on every green tree, The blackbirds and the thrushes are a-whistling merrilie.
And sing, &c.
Now Michaelmas is coming, - what pleasure we shall find;It will make the gold to fly, my boys, like chaff before the wind;And every lad shall take his lass, so loving and so kind.
And sing, &c.
Ballad: THE YORKSHIRE HORSE-DEALER.
[THIS ludicrous and genuine Yorkshire song, the production of some unknown country minstrel, obtained considerable popularity a few years ago from the admirable singing of Emery. The incidents actually occurred at the close of the last century, and some of the descendants of 'Tommy Towers' were resident at Clapham till within a very recent period, and used to take great delight in relating the laughable adventure of their progenitor. Abey Muggins is understood to be a SOBRIQUET for a then Clapham innkeeper. The village of Clapham is in the west of Yorkshire, on the high road between Skipton and Kendal.]
BANE ta Claapam town-gate lived an ond Yorkshire tike, Who i' dealing i' horseflesh hed ne'er met his like;'Twor his pride that i' aw the hard bargains he'd hit, He'd bit a girt monny, but nivver bin bit.
This ond Tommy Towers (bi that naam he wor knaan), Hed an oud carrion tit that wor sheer skin an' baan;Ta hev killed him for t' curs wad hev bin quite as well, But 'twor Tommy opinion he'd dee on himsel!
Well! yan Abey Muggins, a neighborin cheat, Thowt ta diddle ond Tommy wad be a girt treat;Hee'd a horse, too, 'twor war than ond Tommy's, ye see, Fort' neet afore that hee'd thowt proper ta dee!