第8章 名人趣谈(1)

1 Before the Foundering

Once on a voyage，Duke Wellington encountered a storm in a boat on the verge of sinking.The captain hurried to Wellington's cabin saying，"We'll be doomed."

Wellington wanted to go to bed，so he said，"Okay，I don't need to take off my shoes."

沉船之前

一次在海上旅行，威灵顿公爵乘的小船遇上了风暴，濒临沉没。船长匆匆赶到威灵顿的包舱，说：“我们就要完蛋了。”

威灵顿正想上床睡觉，于是说道：“那好，我就用不着脱鞋了。”

2 Hat

Andersen led a very simple life.He always wore the same old hat whenever he went out.

Once someone in the street laughed at him，"What's that on your head？Can it be called a hat？"

Andersen replied，"What's that under your hat？Can it be called a head？"

帽子

安徒生过着非常简朴的生活。无论什么时候出门，他总是戴着同一顶旧帽子。

一次，有人在街上嘲笑他说：“你脑袋上面那是什么？那也能叫帽子吗？”

安徒生回答说：“你帽子下面那是什么？那也能叫脑袋吗？”

3 There Isn't a Scar on Your Body

Once Muhammad Ali attended a grand banquet.During the banquet，the host introduced a pianist to him.

The pianist said humorously，"We are of the same trade to make a living with our hands."

Ali replied，"You're excellent because there isn't a scar on your body."

身上没有疤

有一次，拳王阿里参加一次盛大宴会。席间，主人把一位钢琴家介绍给他。

钢琴家幽默地说：“我们是同行，都是以手谋生。”

阿里回答说：“你非常出色，因为你身上没有一块伤疤。”

4 1+1=1

The great logician Bertrand Russel once claimed that could prove anything if given that 1+1=1.

So one day some smarty‐pants asked him，"Prove that you're the Pope."

He thought for a while and proclaimed，"I am one.The Pope is one.Therefore，the Pope and I are one."

1+1=1

伟大的逻辑学家伯特兰·罗素曾经说过，他用1+1=1可以证明一切事物。

有一天，几个自作聪明的人要求他：“证明一下你是教皇。”

他想了想，说：“我是一个人，教皇是一个人。所以，我和教皇是一个人。”

5 1 Make Way for a Fool

Goethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park.

As luck would have it，he met with a critic who was hostile to him.

Both of them stopped，staring at each other.Then the critic said，"I will never make way for a fool."

"But I will."with that Goethe retreated aside.

给傻瓜让路

有一次，歌德在公园的一条狭窄的小路上散步，偏偏遇到了一个对他心存敌意的评论家。

他们都停下来看着对方。随后，评论家说：“我从来不会给傻瓜让路。”

“但我会。”说完，歌德退到了一旁。

6 Wearing Glass

Mozart always went to sleep wearing glasses every night.

Someone asked him，"Why did you go to sleep still wearing glasses？"

He answered，"I often think of strains of some music in dreams.Unless wearing glasses，I won't see the notes clearly.When I wake up，I'll forget them all naturally."

戴眼镜

莫扎特每晚睡觉都要戴上眼镜。

有人问他：“你为什么睡觉还要戴眼镜呢？”

他回答说：“我常在梦中想起一些乐曲的旋律。如果不戴眼镜，就什么音符都看不清，醒来自然就全忘了。”

7 Autograph

A U.S.real estate businessman went to Hemingway，who moved to live in Cuba at the time，asking Hemingway for his autograph as a souvenir.

Hemingway looked down on the businessman，so he wrote down his name on the beach with his stick saying，"It depends on whether you can carry it away with you or not."

签名

一个美国房地产商人去找当时移居古巴的海明威，想要他的亲笔签名作为留念。

海明威瞧不起这个商人，就用手杖在沙滩上写下了自己的名字，说：“就看你能不能把它带走了。”

8 You Have Already Become a Great Man

Einstein once wrote a letter to Charlie Chaplin.He wrote，"Your film The Modern Times，everybody in the world can understand.You will certainly become a great man.Einstein."

In his answer to the letter Charlie Chaplin wrote，"I admire you even more.Your Theory of Relativity，nobody in the world understands，but you have already become a great man.Chaplin."

你已经成了伟人

爱因斯坦曾经给查理·卓别林写过一封信。他写道：“你的电影《摩登时代》，世界上每个人都能看懂。你肯定会成为伟人。爱因斯坦。”

查理·卓别林在回信中写道：“我更钦佩你。你的相对论，虽然世界上没有人能懂，但你已经成了伟人。卓别林。”

9 What Are You Really Thinking about

At a party，George Bernard Shaw was intent on his mind.Out of curiosity，a rich man sitting next to him asked，"Mr.Bernard Shaw，I wanna offer one dollar to inquire what you are thinking about."

Bernard Shaw replied，"What I'm thinking about is not worth one dollar."

The rich man was even more curious，"So，what are you really thinking about？"

George Bernard Shaw replied serenely，"I'm thinking about you！"

你在想什么

一次晚会上，萧伯纳正在专心想事。坐在旁边的一个富翁出于好奇，问道：“萧伯纳先生，我愿出一美元，来打听你在想什么。”

萧伯纳回答说：“我想的东西不值一美元。”

富翁更加好奇了：“那你究竟在想什么呢？”

萧伯纳平静地答道：“我在想着你呢！”

10 You Should Pay Double Tuition

A young man asked Socrates to teach him the technique of lecturing.

In order to show that he was an eloquent speaker，the young man talked on and on about all irrelevant matters.

"You should pay me double the tuttion fees."said Socrates.

"Why？Why should I pay double？"the young man said in surprise.

"Because，"Socrates said humorously，"I must teach you two courses： one is how to close your mouth，the other is how to lecture."

你应该付双倍的学费

一个年轻人请苏格拉底教他演讲术。为了表现自己是个口若悬河的演说家，这个年轻人就夸夸其谈，滔滔不绝地说着不着边际的话。

“你应该付给我两倍的学费。”苏格拉底说。

“为什么？为什么我应该付你两倍的学费呢？”这个年轻人非常吃惊地说。

“因为我要教你两门功课：一门是怎样闭嘴，另一门是怎样演讲。”苏格拉底幽默地说。

11 I Have Continually to Bow

Rossini was the famous Italian composer of the 19th century.He was in the habit of taking off his hat whenever he met an old acquaintance.

One day，a composer brought a manu to Rossini，who，on listening，every minute took off his hat and put it on again.The composer asked whether it was so hot in the room.

"No，"said Rossini."but there are so many acquaintances I remember in your composition，that I have continually to bow."

不断致意

罗西尼是19世纪着名的意大利作曲家，他有见了熟人就脱帽的习惯。

有一天，一位作曲家拿了一份手稿来见他。罗西尼一边听，一边不停地脱帽戴帽。那位作曲家不解地问是否因为房间很热。

“不，"罗西尼说，“我在你的作品里看到太多熟人了，所以我得不断致意。”

12 Stamp

A Paris advertising agency wanted an art designer，requiring the applicants to send three proud recent works： a line drawing，a sketch and a graphic design.

A few days later，the company received the application of the sculptor Rodin，but there were only a line drawing and a sketch.How was a graphic design missing？They all wondered.

At this point，it was found that in the envelope there was a note that read，"My graphic design is a counterfeit stamp on the envelope."

邮票

巴黎一家广告公司招聘美术设计师，要求应聘者寄上三件得意的近作：一幅素描、一幅速写和一幅图案设计。

几天后，公司收到雕塑家罗丹的应聘书，但里面只有一幅素描和一幅速写。怎么缺了一幅图案设计呢？大家纳闷起来。

就在这时，有人发现信封里还有一张纸条，上面写着：“我的图案设计是信封上的伪造邮票。”

就在这时，有人发现信封里还有一张纸条，上面写着：“我的图案设计是信封上的伪造邮票。”

13 Borrow a Book

Mark Twain once went to borrow a certain book from a neighbor."May I borrow a book from you？"he asked politely.