第4章 无敌腹黑(4)

国航局火星计划

美国国航局正在面试几位他们准备派往火星的专家。问题是只有一个人能去，而且这是一次单程旅行，也就是说那人不可能再回到地球上。

第一个申请人是一名工程师，面试官问他这次行动他想要多少钱。

“一百万美元，”工程师回答，“我想把它全部捐给我的母校--赖斯大学。”

第二个申请人是一名医生，面试官问了他相同的问题。

“两百万美元，”医生说，“我想留一百万给我的家人，然后把剩下的一百万捐赠出去以促进医学研究的发展。”

最后一位申请人是一名律师。当问到他想要多少报酬时，他凑近面试官的耳朵小声说：“三百万美元。”

“为什么比别人多这么多？”面试官问道。

律师回答：“你给我三百万美元，我会给你一百万，自己留一百万，然后我们把工程师派出去。”

25 Two plus Two

An engineer，a physicist，and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation.

The engineer was interviewed first，and was asked a long list of questions，ending with"How much is two plus two？"

The engineer excused himself，and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announced，"Four."

The physicist was next interviewed，and was asked the same questions.Before answering the last question，he excused himself，made for the library，and did a great deal of research.After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations，he also announced，"Four."

The lawyer was interviewed last，and was asked the same questions.At the end of his interview，before answering the last question，he drew all the shades in the room，looked outside the door to see if anyone was there，checked the telephone for listening devices，and asked，"How much do you want it to be？"

二加二

一名工程师、一名物理学家和一名律师为争取一家大公司的首席执行官这一职位参加了面试。

工程师最先进去面试，他被问了一长串问题，最后一个问题是：“二加二等于多少？”

这位工程师请求离开一会儿，他做了一系列的测量和计算之后，回到董事会议室宣布答案：“等于四。”

接下来是物理学家，他也被问了同样的问题。在回答最后一题之前，他也请求离开，前往图书馆，做了一系列的调查研究。同美国标准局有关人士进行磋商，做了许多估算。最后他同样宣布：“等于四。”

律师最后一位参加，他也被问了同样的问题。在面试结束的时候，回答最后一题之前，他检查了整个房间的角落，看看门外是否有人，检查电话是否有窃听器，然后问：“你希望答案是多少？”

26 Drunk Superman

Two men are sitting at a bar，slowly sipping their drinks.

After a while，the first man approaches the other man，and sits next to him，"This place is great，isn't it？"He asks.

The second man，somewhat surprised at the stranger's remark，replies，"Why do you say that？"

The first man，in a low tone of voice，responds，"Follow me."The two of them walk over to a large window at the end of the room.The window faces out onto the street，twelve floors below.

"Here's why."The first man throws open the window，and boldly steps out into thin air.But he remains aloft！

"The air is great here！"he says，"It's relaxing."

He floats back into the room.As his feet return to the bar‐room floor，he invites the second man to try it.

The second man，skeptical，peers out through the window‐down to the pavement twelve stories below.He looks to the other side，and finally up above，to see if there was anything holding the first man up.

Convinced that it was no trickery，the second man swallows，closes his eyes，and steps out into thin air.He promptly falls twelve stories to the pavement below.

The first man grins and returns to the bar.Looking rather irritated，the barkeeper comes over to the place where the man sits.

"You know，"he says，disgusted，"you're a real jerk when you're drunk，Superman."

喝醉的超人

两个男人坐在酒吧里，慢慢地喝着自己的酒。

不久，第一个男人走到第二个男人的旁边，说：“这个地方很棒，是吧？”

第二个男人对他的话有些吃惊，问道：“为什么这么说呢？”

第一个人压低声音回应道：“跟我来。”这两人走到房间尽头的一扇大窗前。

窗户对着大街，在十二层。

“这就是原因。”第一个男人推开窗，勇敢地跨出去踩在稀薄的空气上，但是他却停在半空没有掉下去！

“这儿的空气真好啊！”他叫道，“真让人觉得放松。”

他飘回房内，双脚落回地面后，便邀请第二个人试一下。

那人有些怀疑地往窗外瞟了瞟--这儿离地面可有十二层楼高啊。他看看另一边，最后再看看上面，看是不是有什么东西支撑着这个人。

最后确定这不是个玩笑，那人便吞了口口水，闭上眼，迈入稀薄的空气里。然后他飞速地从十二楼掉下去摔在人行道上。

第一个人咧嘴笑着，回到酒吧。酒吧侍者恼火地走到他坐的地方。

“你知道吗，”他愤怒地说，“你喝醉时真是一个混蛋，超人。”