第27章

AT this point in his story，Armand paused.

'Would you close the window？'he said to me，'I'm beginning to feel cold.While you're doing that，I shall go to bed.'

I closed the window.Armand，who was still very weak，took off his dressing-gown and got into bed，allowing his head to rest on the pillow for a few moments，like a man wearied by a long march or troubled by painful memories.

'Perhaps you have talked too much，'I said.'Would you like me to go and leave you to sleep？You can tell me the end of the story some other day.'

'Do you find it tedious？'

'On the contrary.'

'In that case，I shall go on with it；if you were to leave me on my own，I shouldn't sleep.'

When I reached home，he went on（without having to gather his thoughts together，so fresh in his mind were all these particulars），I did not go to bed.I began to reflect on the day's happenings.The meeting，the introduction，Marguerite's pledge to me，had all been so sudden，so unexpected，that there were moments when I thought I had been dreaming.However，it was not the first time a girl like Marguerite had promised herself to a man，with her promise to take effect on the very day after she was asked to give it.

But though I tried to keep this thought uppermost in my mind，that first impression produced in me by my future mistress had been so powerful that it lingered still.Stubbornly，I continued to refuse to think of her as a rather loose girl like all the others and，with the vanity so commonly found in all men，I was ready to believe that she was as unshakeably attracted to me as I was to her.

However，I was personally acquainted with examples which showed the exact opposite，and I had often heard it said that Marguerite's love had sunk to the level of a commodity，the price of which fluctuates according to the season.

But，yet again，how was such a reputation to be reconciled with the repeated refusals given to the young Count we had found in her apartment？You will say that she did not like him and that，since she was already being kept in some splendour by the Duke，then if she was prepared to go to the length of taking another lover，she would naturally prefer to have a man she did like.But if that were so，why did she not want Gaston，who was charming，witty and rich，and why did she appear to want me，whom she had found so ridiculous the first time she saw me？

It is true that events lasting only a moment may achieve more than courtships which last a year.

Among those who had been present at the supper，I was the only one to have been anxious on seeing her leave the table.I had followed her.I had been so affected that I had been unable to hide my feelings.I had wept as I kissed her hand.These circumstances，together with my daily calls during the two months of her illness，had perhaps led her to regard me as a man quite different from those she had hitherto known，and she may have told herself that she could very well grant to such devoted love what she had granted on so many other occasions，and it could well have been that none of it meant much more to her than that.

All these suppositions，as you can see，were plausible enough.But whatever the reason for her consenting，one thing was sure：she had consented.

Now，I was in love with Marguerite，I was going to have her：I could not ask any more of her.Yet，I repeat，though she was a kept woman，I had in my mind turned my love-to poeticize her，perhaps-into such a hopeless passion，that the closer the moment came when I would have no further need for hope，the more uncertain I became.

I did not lose my eyes that night.

I did not know what to think.I was half mad.At some moments，I could not believe I was handsome enough nor rich enough nor sufficiently fashionable to possess a woman like her；at others，I felt swollen with vanity at the thought that she was to be mine.Then I would start fearing that Marguerite had no more than a passing fancy for me which would last only a few days and，scenting disaster for me if the affair ended abruptly，I told myself that I would do better not to call on her that evening but go away and tell her my fears in a letter.From thinking this，I moved to limitless hopes and boundless optimism.I dreamed impossible dreams for the future；I told myself that this girl would have me to thank for her spiritual and physical salvation，that I would spend the whole of my life by her side，and that her love would make me happier than all the most virginal of loves in creation.

In short，I should be quite incapable of repeating to you the countless thoughts which rose from my heart to my head and faded slowly into the sleep which overpowered me when it grew light.

When I woke，it was two o'clock.The weather was magnificent.I cannot recall that life has ever seemed to me as exquisite or as full.Memories of the previous evening came back into my mind，untainted，unimpeded and gaily escorted by my hopes for the night to come.I dressed quickly.I felt contented and capable of the finest deeds.From time to time，my heart fluttered in my chest with joy and love.A pleasant feverishness quickened my blood.I had stopped worrying about the arguments which had filled my mind before I had fallen asleep.I saw only the result.I thought only of the moment when I should see Marguerite again.

Staying at home was out of the question.My bedroom seemed too small to contain my happiness；I needed the whole of nature to give vent to my feelings.

I went out.

I walked by the rue d'Antin.Marguerite's brougham was waiting at her door；I headed in the direction of the Champs-Elysees.I loved all the people I met，even though I had never seen any of them before.

Love brings out the best in us！

After an hour of walking from the Marly Horses to the Rond-Point and from the Rond-Point to the Marly Horses，I saw Marguerite's carriage in the distance：I did not recognize it，I just knew it was hers.

As it was turning the corner into the Champs-Elysees，she ordered it to stop，and a tall young man broke away from a group where he had been chatting in order to speak to her.