第6章 少年生活(5)

My early affliction had,however,another compensation.The incessant mental exertion developed my powers of observation and enabled me to discover a truth of great importance.Ihad noted that the appearance of images was always preceded by actual vision of scenes under peculiar and generally very exceptional conditions and Iwas impelled on each occasion to locate the original impulse.After a while this effort grew to be almost automatic and Igained great facility in connecting cause and effect.Soon Ibecame aware,to my surprise,that every thought Iconceived was suggested by an external impression.Not only this but all my actions were prompted in a similar way.In the course of time it became perfectly evident to me that Iwas merely an automaton endowed with power of movement,responding to the stimuli of the sense organs and thinking and acting accordingly.The practical result of this was the art of telautomatics which has been so far carried out only in an imperfect manner.Its latent possibilities will,however,be eventually shown.Ihave been since years planning self-controlled automata and believe that mechanisms can be produced which will act as if possessed of reason,to a limited degree,and will create a revolution in many commercial and industrial departments.

Iwas about twelve years old when Ifirst succeeded in banishing an image from my vision by wilful effort,but Inever had any control over the flashes of light to which Ihave referred.They were,perhaps,my strangest experience and inexplicable.They usually occurred when Ifound myself in a dangerous or distressing situation,or when Iwas greatly exhilarated.In some instances Ihave seen all the air around me filled with tongues of living flame.Their intensity,instead of diminishing,increased with time and seemingly attained a maximum when Iwas about twenty-five years old.

While in Paris,in 1883,a prominent French manufacturer sent me an invitation to a shooting expedition which Iaccepted.Ihad been long confined to the factory and the fresh air had a wonderfully invigorating effect on me.On my return to the city that night Ifelt a positive sensation that my brain had caught fire.Isaw a light as tho a small sun was located in it and Ipast the whole night applying cold compressions to my tortured head.Finally the flashes diminished in frequency and force but it took more than three weeks before they wholly subsided.When a second invitation was extended to me my answer was an emphatic NO!

These luminous phenomena still manifest themselves from time to time,as when a new idea opening up possibilities strikes me,but they are no longer exciting,being of relatively small intensity.When Iclose my eyes Iinvariably observe first,a background of very dark and uniform blue,not unlike the sky on a clear but starless night.In a few seconds this field becomes animated with innumerable scintillating flakes of green,arranged in several layers and advancing towards me.Then there appears,to the right,a beautiful pattern of two systems of parallel and closely spaced lines,at right angles to one another,in all sorts of colors with yellow-green and gold predominating.Immediately thereafter the lines grow brighter and the whole is thickly sprinkled with dots of twinkling light.This picture moves slowly across the field of vision and in about ten seconds vanishes to the left,leaving behind a ground of rather unpleasant and inert grey which quickly gives way to a billowy sea of clouds,seemingly trying to mould themselves in living shapes.It is curious that Icannot project a form into this grey until the second phase is reached.Every time,before falling asleep,images of persons or objects flit before my view.When Isee them Iknow that Iam about to lose consciousness.If they are absent and refuse to come，it means a sleepless night.

To what an extent imagination played a part in my early life Imay illustrate by another odd experience.Like most children Iwas fond of jumping and developed an intense desire to support myself in the air.Occasionally a strong wind richly charged with oxygen blew from the mountains rendering my body as light as cork and then Iwould leap and float in space for a long time.It was a delightful sensation and my disappointment was keen when later Iundeceived myself.